My life has been steady since I got married. Some days, I have greater appreciation than others.
What prompted me to write this today is my recent experience with a project I started. I am currently doing a mural for my son’s kindy. I am free to choose my surface so I can work anywhere I prefer. I chose to use perspex sheets and have found a supplier at Lower Hutt.
I’d like to believe I work well with numbers, but it’s hit-and-miss for me with physical things. Turns out, the sheets I ordered were way too large for my studio and me to deal with.
Howell’s first reaction when it was delivered was that he offered to tidy up my space so I can work more comfortably in the studio. His reaction has taken me aback since it would have been way different at the start of our marriage. I was expecting a sort of interrogation of my thought process while I was ordering it and why I ordered such a huge surface, which my current workspace cannot really accommodate.
Later that day, I talked to him and acknowledged his response. I appreciated how loving it was. He explained to me that yes, his response would have been different if we were not in a committed relationship. But since he has decided he will stay with me till death do us part, there is no other route but to choose what’s best for me at that point instead of choosing to argue.
I appreciate that very much. I appreciate that we have love that wouldn’t leave me second-guessing. I appreciate that this love welcomes mistakes. This love is rarely about grand gestures, but a consistent, daily choice to show up, understand, and work things out.
In the end, had to bring the sheet back to the supplier and ask him to cut it into smaller pieces. Even I was annoyed with myself, not realising how that scale would have made things very difficult for me. But being shown this kind of love, even I can forgive and embrace myself for my mistakes.
We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
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