I have written a lot about my current experiences as an individual in these blog posts. However, there is a deeper well where all these things came from. I had a history colourful enough to share.
The biggest story that I would say has defined my life happened when I was in university. We were bankrupt and my father passed during this period. Everything I held dear was taken from me.
As a young professional, I wanted to share it, at that time, I was hoping, through writing a book about my experiences. However, life happened and here we are. My memory hasn’t also been the best so I thought to create this blog series to document all I can remember and we’ll see where this takes me.
This is a story about how I have identified with Job. For reference, the story of Job can be found in the book of Job in the Bible. In so many ways, I felt my life moved as his did. Little by little, from what I can recall, I will share them here, as Sheen: the Millennial Job.
I like doing my bit for mother Earth. I try and make meals from scratch to avoid unnecessary packaging. I shop fruit and veges at our local co-op. I compost. These are very small things we try and do everyday to contribute to the future of the planet. If it does have some impact, I wouldn’t really know. One can only hope that these small efforts make a huge difference.
Today marks my 2nd week using cloth nappies – and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made as a mum both for my wallet and for the environment.
I’ve heard advantages and disadvantages from people who used cloth nappies and from those who tried but did not push through with it.
Where to start
Given that we live at the end of the earth, there are very limited options for a lot of things here, including cloth nappies. I received a couple samples from my sister-in-law: one’s an all-in-one nappy and a 2-in-one nappy. The all-in-one nappies are fastened through velcro while the 2-in-one ones use snaps. I purchased these two types just so I have variation. I am no expert yet in using cloth nappies but these ones have worked well for us.
We currently have 25 nappies and wash them every 2/3 days, depending on bubba’s usage.
Dealing with poop
One of the biggest concerns I had when I was considering cloth nappies was dealing with poop. I’ve found that there are disposable liners that you can use just so I won’t need to directly deal with it before washing. Once I found this workable solution, I was sold!
When we started with cloth nappies
We planned to start using cloth nappies when our bubba is 3 months old just so we adjust with newborn stuff gradually. It was great because we have a good routine already.
What our routines are
We use cloth nappies the whole day but since bubba is sleeping longer stretches now, about 5-7 hours a night, we still use disposable nappies at night to keep him comfortable and leak-free the whole night through. We also use disposable nappies on days out just so things are efficient and it’s one less issue we need to deal with.
Washing and drying
We do a pre-wash and main-wash in the laundry and use dryer to dry. Having a dryer at home saves us a trip to the laundry, especially on wet days and on winter. We make sure we’re doing a full load so we don’t waste energy and water cleaning these nappies.
We struggled at first figuring out how to wash these properly but there are a huge number of resources online that helped us find the best way for us to keep these nappies clean.
In conclusion…
These are our experiences so far using cloth nappies. In terms of use, there’s not much difference with disposable ones except that they are reusable. I don’t think we will fully shift to cloth nappies for convenience of days out and for baby’s comfort at night, but it has been saving heaps of disposable ones ending up in landfills. If you are looking at giving it a try, go ahead! Really one of the best decisions you can make as parents!
I have had issues with mental health even before becoming a mum so I am proactive to take certain steps to ensure that I have time for self-care. Over the past year, I have learnt of things that calm, comfort, and energise me – that’s eating healthy, swimming, walking outdoors, and making art, to name a few.
I knew even during pregnancy that I have to take deliberate steps to still continue taking care of myself as I enter the crazy busy life of motherhood. It’s a good thing I am blessed with a husband who cares about these things as much as I do.
We’ve nailed down eating healthy with weekly meal preps and having healthy snacks handy at home. With my art, I “steal” quiet times to create. I do sketches which take me about 5 to 10 minutes to create. I draw what I see. I take pictures of the sky, which can be seen through our glass doors, when I see interesting cloud formations and gorgeous sunset views. I do digital art at night when Howell is in charge of caring for Raphael. I write these blogs when Raphael sleeps according to his sleep schedule.
On Fridays, Howell works from home so I can go out and do whatever it is that will make me feel human again. I have a stash of expressed breastmilk so Howell can feed Raphael if he ever gets hungry while I’m out. I usually get about 2-3 hours of alone time. I use this time to swim and do the groceries. Didn’t know how relaxing doing groceries can be until now!
When weather is good, Raphael and I join Howell and Milo for Milo’s everyday walks. It’s just a bit upsetting these days because it’s been raining since autumn almost everyday, but we make sure to go out every single time the sun shines. I hope summer brings heaps of opportunities for more walks with the whole family.
When all these little things are added up, they make a huge contribution to my wellbeing, which directly impacts my capacity to care for Howell, Raphael, and even Milo. I used to think that thinking of yourself as a mother is selfish but really, you cannot pour from an empty vessel. I am able to give because my cup is always filled. Thank God for a loving and caring husband!
If I haven’t mentioned it enough, I am a first time mum to a now 2-month old baby.
I am currently studying for a Diploma in Creativity and I have been taking really small steps to establish a career in art while doing my studies because studying art is not really a pre-requisite for an art career. I am not fully set on the path I wish to pursue but I just keep on creating for now with the goal of forging my own path someday soon.
I used to think that having a child meant automatically abandoning this goal of mine but with encouragement from other artists and other mums, I realised it shouldn’t be the case.
Thus far, here are the things I have learned and have been helping me push through with these small steps to achieving my goal.
Be intentional
Unlike my previous process where I stay at my studio and wait for inspiration to strike, I now have a list of things and ideas I can implement when I find the small windows of time where I can work. Every opportunity is an opportunity to create so I have to be intentional on how I spend my limited time. These days, I’m fortunate enough to have an hour to spare at a time while baby is asleep because I also do chores and self-care in between.
Use the limited resources that you have
It’s a chore altogether just to get to my studio and set things up so I gathered a limited number of supplies I can easily reach and stored them in our lounge so I can easily set things to action. I found that having a limited number of supplies allows me to better focus as well. Sadly, I am not able to use any wet media, my favourite go-tos, at the moment because of how tedious it is to set it up. I am learning new ways to create because dry media isn’t something I’m used to. Here’s to learning new things!
Keep an accessible avenue to store your ideas
I used to write most of my ideas on my visual diary. However, as I’m usually on my feet, I found it easier to write my ideas on my phone instead. It is so convenient to have all my ideas in one place because I can easily jump onto any creative project and easily execute an idea.
Use the simple, mundane moments as inspiration
I used to think that only the big milestones count as my inspiration – times I see my dreams fulfilled, major life changes, anything but the present. When I gave birth, I became impatient thinking that I can only get back on track with me pursuing my dreams once my child is in school. Now, I have learned that any time I maximise is a good time.
My child’s first smile, his first round of vaccinations, his first day out, his daily naps, his interactions with our dog Milo, the times he feeds, and his moments with his dad – these are a collection of memories I can always tap on for inspiration when I need one.
Kids grow up so fast, I’ve heard plenty of mums say. I have been learning that this is only for a season – who knows, there might even come a time when I can eventually collaborate with my child in creating. Now that’s a very exciting thought!
It has been almost six years since we arrived on New Zealand’s shores. As someone who came from a tropical country, I have little appreciation for what seasons are and their significance to humans – which is apparently fairly significant. Seasons dictate your daily choices such as your clothing, food, holidays, and even your social activities.
I can, in hindsight, look at the events of my life, and connect them to a specific season as I have experienced it.
The first six years of our marriage has mostly ranged from autumn to winter to spring. We have toiled and built up our careers to the point that we were able to have a good harvest of our investments prior to having a child. We were able to save up and have a kickstart to prepare for the arrival of a child. We were able to enjoy each other’s company and got to know each other fairly well. It was a beautiful season we have now moved on from.
My pregnancy was summer-like. It was in the literal sense summer here in New Zealand – way too warm for my liking, but very sunshine-y and it held so many promises of a beautiful new season in our lives. I’d say it passed by quickly, but those nine months were very significant for us to mentally and emotionally prepare for this blessing of a new child in our family.
Now that our son has finally arrived, I know we are transitioning to a whole new season of which we know so little of. I’d say that since the start of my pregnancy, I have been learning to live life one day at a time. I remember celebrating every week I have carried him because my high risk pregnancy can bring a lot of good and bad surprises and I was really anxious I might give birth prematurely. Every weekly doctor’s appointment brought in different challenges for us. There was the potential cleft lip they saw in the scans, echogenic bowel, him being too small for his gestational age, and him being in the breech presentation. Week by week we had to watch out for these things and find how they will finally turn out. Fortunately, his breech presentation was the only issue that had a significance on us.
With Howell back to work and with me solely caring for Raphael for majority of the day, the value of living day by day made more and more sense to me. My compulsion to plan and to fix everything ahead of time are all out the window – there’s no planning everyday because I do not even know what time his next feed will be! It is frustrating not knowing what’s going to happen next.
For my art practice, I curently have 3 books in my pipeline – 2 of which I’m currently working on. I’m also building a body of work for my dream art exhibit.
Between everything I wanted to happen and my current reality of a first-time mum to a newborn, it’s like time has been suspended somewhere. I am at a loss and all I can do is live life daily – not out of choice but out of sheer need to preserve my sanity. I take small steps to get back to normal but it has been tough because I have real, physical bounds that stop me from going into full gear. I am stilll healing from my C-section and Raphael’s routines has not been established yet.
I have heard from more seasoned mums that I’d need to learn to cherish this season because it comes by so fast and that this is indeed just a season – it will pass eventually. My bubba will grow up fast and I can never turn back time and go back to how small he currently is. If this were all true, then maybe slowing down and being comfortable with the unkown is something I’d need to deal with for this season. How I’ll do it, I still do not know, but for now, I can decide to shut the computer down, breathe deeply, and maybe hug my son for a few moments longer…
Our son, Raphael, was born on 5th May 2022, 2:23PM, at Wellington Regional Hospital via elective C-section.
I was honestly hoping for a normal delivery for my fear of recovery after a C-section. I have heard stories of how easy the procedure was but how demanding and tedious it can be during recovery. At 32 weeks, it was explained to me that because of a high risk pregnancy, I cannot go beyond 38 weeks. Therefore, my options would be an induction or a C-section at either 37 or 38 weeks.
However, at 34 weeks, I was presented with a surprise from my dear Raphael that he flipped and that he was in a footling breech presentation. As I understood it, a vaginal delivery is still possible, but was not advisable in these cases and so I was offered either an ECV (External Cephalic Version – turning a breech baby) or an elective C-Section. I initially booked an ECV at 36 weeks but opted off it after careful discernment and discussions with fellow mums, friends, and family. There may be a reason why my bubba turned at 34 weeks and I will never know what that was but we chose not to meddle with whatever was going on in my tummy.
This, then, meant that an elective C-Section was my only option.
I was booked for a C-Section at 37 weeks and 4 days. I was given detailed instructions on how we would go about it. I did a blood test the day prior and put in a request for blood bags should I need it for the operation. I also took Omeprazole the night prior and the morning of the surgery. I was required to fast the night before the surgery and no liquids an hour before I come in the hospital.
On the day of the surgery, we arrived at around 7:20AM and was told that I was the only C-section booked for the day. However, as with any plan, some other things come up. I was bumped off twice because an emergency C-section was performed on another mum and a C-section booked the day prior was moved to the day of my surgery. I was then bumped to be the last one to have had the surgery. The only issue I had was being too thirsty, hungry, and anxious if the procedure was to push through that day or not.
Once they started preparing me, it only took a few minutes before I found myself in the theatre. I was immediately briefed on how my epidural would be done. The only time I felt pain was when the anesthesia was being injected on me – I felt sharp, stabbing pains on my spine area which lasted for a couple seconds. After which, everything from waist down went numb and the doctors were off to delivering my son. In about 10 minutes, Raphael was out. They stitched me back for about 30 minutes and then I was wheeled into the Recovery Room.
In the recovery room, they waited for my anesthesia to wear off. While waiting, they gave me an ice block, water, and a sandwich. I was so drowsy but wasn’t in any sort of pain. Once they saw my toes and my knees twitch, I was then brought to the postnatal ward. They constantly checked baby’s and my heart rate, oxygen levels, and glucose levels. It took two days for Raphael’s sugars to stabilise. On Day 2, I was supposed to be transferred to Kenepuru Hospital, one that’s nearer us, for my recovery. However, I was given the option to stay in Wellington Hospital or be discharged home instead – whichever I prefer. There wasn’t much trouble for us in choosing our options because healthcare in New Zealand is free – we just choose whatever works best for us. This was one of the things we greatly appreciated here. It would have cost us a fortune to carry and give birth to our dear one if we were in the Philippines.
Our movements were very limited in the hospital and so we chose to be discharged home instead. We invited my in-laws to our home that night so they will have an opportunity to meet baby as they were not allowed to visit the hospital due to Covid restrictions. It was great for them to have met baby and help us set up stuff that night. In the succeeding days, though, we decided it was best not to accept any visitors until I was fully recovered, which was graciously accepted by the people wanting to visit us. It was mentally and physically taxing for me to be receiving visitors as we were also trying to establish our breastfeeding routine and was waiting for my milk to come in.
I am writing this on Day 9 post partum. Milk came in at Day 4, midwife already visited us twice, my bleeding has subsided, and I am down to paracetamol for my pain relief. We took off my wound dressing already but everything is still sore. I still take things slow, walk and move very slowly. Howell took 2 weeks off work so he is currently in charge of everything house-related. We are all getting better everyday but it has been a very slow and gradual process. The adjustments are not just physical – it is mental, emotional, even spiritual.
At this point, we are just taking things one step at a time. I am personally looking forward to going on my daily walks with Howell and Milo, this time along with Raphael. I look forward to doing art again, moving freely without pain, meeting people again, this time with our first child in tow. Life is good, we couldn’t ask for more…
Happy to say I’m at 23 weeks now and the reality of the having the baby is finally sinking in! As I previously shared, I function as normal and didn’t have the usual aches and pains a pregnant woman can expect, which I’m so happy about. In spite of this dealing with pregnancy is not a walk in the park still.
Here are the things I have been experiencing so far:
Diabetes and my medications
I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2019. It has been controlled so far with proper diet, exercise, and metformin. However, I learned that as a pregnant woman, it can be expected that my blood glucose levels can get out of whack so apart from metformin, I had to take both fast and long acting insulin.
I record my blood glucose levels before a meal and 2 hours after a meal, which meant pricking my fingers for a minimum of 6 times a day, not counting the times I go hypoglycemic. With my insulin, I take 1 fast acting one before every meal and twice a day of the long acting one, for a total of 5 injections a day.
It has been a challenge for me since I had to plan all my meals, time them, and adjust my day’s schedule to get my sugars in control all the time. I empathise with mums who work full time! I work from home and yet this challenges me still!
A diabetes nurse monitors my sugars once a week and adjusts my meds depending on my readings. Happy to note that my numbers have been really good the past few weeks.
Food
Apart from all the food you need to avoid while pregnant, I had to adjust my meals to suit the baby’s nutritional needs and my carbs and sugar requirements. This one has been a biggie since day 1 I learned about the pregnancy because I am not used to eating vegetables and I also get hungry all the time! One thing that helped is having a plan.
All my meals and even snacks are planned. I have a limited choice of snacks I can choose from so I didn’t have to think about food all the time and so they’d always be ready when I need one. It’s a great thing that my husband has been cooperating with this diet in a sense that he eats what I eat. It would have been way more difficult if he’s a picky eater who’d want to eat what he wants when he wants it!
Exercise
To manage my blood glucose levels, I also incorporate exercise into my day. Even prior to getting pregnant, I have been walking twice a day with my dog and swim about 3 to 4 times a week. I have kept this routine to this day but I give myself permission not to exercise on days I feel tired. I also do resistance exercises recommended by my trainor who’s a mum herself.
It has kept my moods in control and I found that my energy levels are consistent throughout the day because of this! Bonus is that it keeps me from experiencing aches and pains I’d normally have if I didn’t exercise!
Sleep
One new thing I have been dealing with at the moment is difficulty sleeping. I usually sleep face front and I just learnt that you are suppose to sleep on your left side when you are pregnant because it’s best for the baby and man it has been a challenge for me! To help with my sleep issues, I’d usually keep a book beside me that I can read when I couldn’t sleep and if it doesn’t work, I just sleep sitting down!
Preparations for the baby
We are blessed to have friends and family who already have kids. My sister-in-law has 2 boys and we have seasoned mums at church who have all been so generous giving away their baby stuff to the point that we only had to purchase a pram and a bottle sanitiser for baby. Everything has been provided for by these wonderful mums!
I am already halfway there and each day, I grow more confident that this is doable. It is challenging but I have an entire village who would be there rallying with me and supporting me any way they can.
Two weeks ago, I decided to take a pregnancy test because I have not had my period for about 3 months – something that’s just about normal for me as I have PCOS. I used an expired pregnancy test kit because I wasn’t really expecting much from the results. When I saw two lines, I did not hesitate to tell Howell because I completely thought it was a fluke.
It was an unusual result, though, so we bought several more kits to check if the previous result was real. Surprise, surprise, it was!
Fast forward to 2 weeks, with the help of the scan this morning, we had our first date with Baby!
We’ve hoped for this baby for quite a while and I admit, I have stopped praying for one since I’ve learned about my several health issues. However, Howell and I knew that friends and family continued to pray for us. Thank you for praying on our behalf.
We still have a long way before we meet Baby in person but even now, we are joyful that he/ she is loved. Please continue to pray for our health – we’re pretty sure Baby is already excited to meet you too!
As I’ve mentioned before, I am currently studying New Zealand Diploma in Creativity Level 5. I mainly do distance learning but I enrol in 1 onsite class per term. It allows me to be in company of other artists which can really be inspiring. For the past term, I attended Gary Freemantle’s class – Paintings that Move.
In every class, we had an exercise which we can choose to pursue throughout the day. Below are some of my outputs from the class.
I liked the idea of an underwater garden. Very proud that I did not use any reference for this piece.This and the next 3 photos below are an exercise to portray depth and shape using brushstrokes. I had fun adding on smoke to this piece but not too happy with the shape.Among the 4 bowl exercises, this was the one I liked most. I liked the shape and the colour palette I used for this piece.I tried the exercise using watercolour. It was amazing that with just a few strokes, I was able to complete this.
This last one was just a black and white experiment then I decided to add colour through the flowers.
This was an interesting piece. It started with clouds, then with further strokes, I saw that it could also be waves. The addition of the boat was really fun. I liked how this painting portrayed so much movement.
This was our first collaborative piece when Alert Level 4 was announced in New Zealand. We were given random images which Gary gave us the freedom to do whatever with. At the end of the class, Gary puts these pieces together to reveal an image which in this case was a smiley. The one in the red square was my piece. The 3 artworks on top were some of the other options I gave Gary. The artworks in the top middle and top right were painted in gouache.
This one was the second collaborative piece.
This was the artwork I contributed. I used acrylic as watercolours, some layers were transparent for this piece.
This was the final collaborative piece we did.
I decided to try doing patterns for this one – the patterns were a very spontaneous decision on my end. Thoroughly enjoyed creating this.
This was an experiment on shapes. I decided to paint a Bahay Kubo, a type of indigenous house in the Philippines. In my future paintings, I am hoping to pursue this track and maybe fuse some unique designs from the Philippines and New Zealand.
I went out of the box with these paintings. I’d say all of them are totally not my style. I enjoy creating them but not sure if I’d ever pursue concepts I learned from these works.
The most important thing I learned from this class was being spontaneous and allowing my consciousness to paint whatever it is that it wants. I didn’t really have much control and planning creating these pieces. In doing so, I get to mix things around and just go out of the box.
As Ash the Brush’s Journey is my first ever published book, friends have had heaps of questions about it – Have you always had a story in your head? What prompted you to write a book? How did you know exactly what to draw?
First off, I’d like to thank all my friends who have already purchased the book, both in New Zealand and in the Philippines. Really appreciate all your support!
So back to my process…
The idea of writing a book has always been a dream of mine so when my mentor asked me what type of project I wish to do, I instantly said I wanted to illustrate one!
After the phone conversation with my mentor, Leigh Mitchell-Anyon, my mind quickly went into overdrive thinking for a topic. I didn’t have one then – all I knew was I wanted to reach children and introduce them to the beauty of art. Couple of minutes after, I went to the literal thinking throne…
And a storyline quickly popped up! I wanted to share that whatever pains we go through will always have a purpose. Then I thought of how I can creatively illustrate that point and thought of how we use paint brushes! Perfect!
I started working on it straight after that!
On the left hand side is how I conceptualized Ash’s features and colours used so all the illustrations are consistent. The top right photo is the final colour palette I’ve chosen for the entire book. The middle photo on the right are my art materials that inspired my book characters. I’ve especially included a Mongol pencil, a brand I’ve used from childhood. The bottom photo on the right is also an inspiration for one of Ash’s journey scenes.
I did a storyboard so I’d have a concrete direction…
Then researched for the appropriate facial expressions for the character…
Did test paintings of all the pages in watercolour, ink, and coloured pencils…
…And made the final paintings.
The most difficult task for me was not the painting part but the scanning, editing, and layout! I have been doing graphic arts for years now thus I was confident to do these tasks but it was way different to my typical editing and layout work!
Good thing I have a good relationship with my printing supplier, they helped heaps in my book layout! Shoutout to the PrintCraft guys Dave and Gary! Inputs about printing and layout from one of the artists I met in class, Michelle Mainwaring, helped heaps as well!
It was an exciting project and I am encouraged to create more. If anyone is wanting to also do their dream projects, I encourage you to do so! Start small, and take those small, wobbly steps haha, you’ll get there!
HandsVentures NZ 