Tag: Filipino

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Art Practice Musings

Working Around Limitations

With my art, I love working with limitations, mainly because it grounds me. Limitations help me with art by shifting focus on a number of items and working creatively around them. Though it is useful for my art practice, I do not find limitations in my actual life fun.

As a mum to a very active toddler, I deal with several limitations myself:

Limited Time

These days, I manage to squeeze in more time for art, baking, and cooking. Rapha is more independent with play and exploration. Yet, I still do not have the luxury of long blocks of time as I had pre-motherhood. So what do I do? Adjust. I make quick acrylic paintings because acrylic paint dries easily. I do watercolour paintings because drying of paint on paper takes time and I can always go back to my paints without the fear of them drying out. I do the more intricate drawings at night when my child is fast asleep.

Limited Space

I love painting on canvas and I have a couple of stretcher bars waiting to be used but I do not have enough space to store big canvases at the moment so I chose to work with paper and thin boards right now. I have outgrown my studio space (aka my spare room in the house and a portion of my living room) so while I wait for my studio to be built, I will make art that my studio allows. I dream of doing bigger and freer forms of art but my current space cannot accommodate it but instead of going big, I will go deeper into my practice.

Limited Finances

It is a mutual decision of me and my husband to go single income while our child is in his developing years. We are blessed for him to have a stable job that can provide for us. We live comfortably, but we do not have a lot of surplus. These days, I am learning to use up the supplies and materials I have accumulated during the years when we had a lot of extras (being DINKs for about full four years when we moved to NZ).

We live frugally and save where we can so we can allot money for us to continue with this lifestyle. I am currently not selling my paintings because I do not have time to market them and make a full blown business off of it but I gift them to people who appreciate my art.

As a family, we have things we still pursue. As an individual, I am still holding on to my vision and my dreams and though I am faced with several limitations, I won’t stop moving. My steps may be really really tiny these days but they are steps nevertheless.

I am pretty stretched in this season of my life but every time I see how my son is developing, I remember why we have decided to do this in the first place. He is learning, growing, and thriving and I love that I can contribute to the best start he could ever have as a young person.

I believe that every season is its appointed time and I am soaking in everything that each season has to offer. When things start freeing up and when things are more abundant, I will look at this time with fondness and remember that though limitations are not fun, it can be an ally and spur me to growth.

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Art Practice Family

My Identity as an Artist

The other day, I was thinking of what I am doing in general with my art practice. I’ve found that if I randomly create without any regard for the message I am putting out, my outputs seem confused and generally flat.

So I thought of identifying my overarching message that I am wanting to communicate or promote in my work. Apart from my identity as an artist mum, I am in the business of breaking chains.

Whether it be in the artworks or in the process of art-making, I am about breaking chains – of neglect, hurts, disappointments, brokenness.

At the time I wrote about this in my journal, my son was wanting to be carried, just because he wants to. I would normally be so annoyed because of the interruption but I welcomed it and wrote what I needed to in phases.

It starts early. I believe that if he grows secure that he is loved and valued, he gets the best start he can get.

This was also the reason why I chose to concentrate on certain mediums and processes that can accommodate these “interruptions” during the day. There’s an overflow of my home studio in every parts of the home so I can still easily get on the creative task when I have the time.

It’s such a sacrifice but the chains I’ve had has impacted me all my life and it’s the least part of my life I want to hand over to my son. Even these blogs are not too cohesive lately because I end it not when I want to but when I need to.

I hope that whatever I am doing in this area of breaking chains may inspire others and hopefully, inspire other parents/ families as well. A loving, healthy, kind, and generous society starts with a loving, healthy, kind, and generous home.

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Art Practice

Solo Show: The Aftermath

While my solo show was ongoing, I kept telling people I might take a 3-month hiatus after everything was done… how I wish I were wrong! Out of exhaustion and the shift to cold weather months, my family members took turns getting sick and here we are after three months!

I didn’t realise how tiring it can be – physically and mentally. But I’ve had three wonderful months to rest and am back now.

While I was on break, I took time to think about the direction I’m headed. I feel like my current skills are not at par with my vision yet and so I decided to focus on areas I really want to improve on.

I tried printmaking, painting, and drawing, experimenting with different mediums while on a break and from there picked on the practice I want to concentrate on.

My goal is to explore and find out what my art style is. I understand finding one’s art style isn’t a linear experience but starting somewhere and finding how I can best express myself would be a good place to start.

I chose drawing and painting – using watercolours, soft pastels, and acrylics for now. I have set up workstations around my home studio to accommodate my deep dive into these mediums.

I chose the media I enjoy working with the most as I think I can learn more by doing what I really like. I’ve talked to a New Zealand artist I really admire and she told me that focusing on a medium allows you to find deeper knowledge and mastery of it. I guess I’m done exploring materials for now and am geared towards getting to know my chosen materials more and experimenting with them.

In saying that, here are my recent explorations. Through these, I’ve found the gaps in my skills and have found my preferred ways of working, too. So I guess I’ll take it from there and push on with my art-ventures!

Oh, and I have finished the transcript for my next book! Just don’t know when I’ll find the time to start illustrating it!

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Art Practice Family Musings

Of Answered Prayers and Looking Back

In the Philippines, we have a saying that goes:

“Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makararating sa paroroonan.”

He who does not look back from where he came will never reach his destination.

I had a conversation with one of my closest friends on my birthday. We talked about what’s been happening in our lives, the usual updates. She’s one of my closest friends whom I’ve known since my university days. She’s now moved to Canada while I’m here in New Zealand.

One of the things I mentioned to her was the exhibit I’m preparing for and how anxious I was over it. She then said who would have thought that I’d be able to do an exhibit, let alone in New Zealand! We both graduated with a Bachelor’s in Psychology so it was something we never would have imagined doing.

We then moved on to talking about being so privileged to be in the countries we are in now. In context, we both experienced hardships, especially during our university days because of our financial capacities at the time so moving to another country to live and work the way we do now was unimaginable.

This conversation prompted me to look back and think of all my answered prayers…

  • I once prayed for a God-fearing husband who will pursue big dreams with me
  • I once prayed for a joyful family
  • I once prayed for a purposeful life
  • I once prayed for a home of our own
  • I once prayed for an opportunity to pursue my passions

…and all these prayers have been answered. Some, I had to wait for quite a number of years, but still… We have come a long way and now is not the time to fear.

It was wonderful to look back. It kept me grounded and at the same time gives me hope that I have a faithful and generous God who keeps His promises. What a privilege to be pursuing dreams!

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Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 5

3 May 2022

My Dearest Raphael,

Two days from now, we will get to hold you in our arms. Mummy will have an elective c-section because you will be born in breech position. We are both excited and nervous but we’re more excited than ever. We have waited so long for you, my child.

Your very existence is a gift. I do not know what the future will bring or how difficult things will be for us, but I believe that the joy of having you will be greater than any struggle we will ever have.

You are loved way more than you could ever imagine. I have loved you even before you were ever conceived. Imagine our joy when we found out that you’re already on the way!

I have no words to ever describe what I feel right now but you are one of the Lord’s greatest blessings to us. Hang in there. We’ll see you very soon.

With joyful anticipation,

Your Mum

This is another series I launched in this space. I have written numerous letters to my child in the hopes of giving this to him as a gift someday. These letters also serve as a way for me to pour out my thoughts and emotions during the different stages of my pregnancy and motherhood.

Some letters I might post as an excerpt, some I’d publish unabridged. I hope to give this someday to Raphael and I want to keep some of my private thoughts and wishes, private.

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Categories
Family

Finding Mummy-Me-Time

I have had issues with mental health even before becoming a mum so I am proactive to take certain steps to ensure that I have time for self-care. Over the past year, I have learnt of things that calm, comfort, and energise me – that’s eating healthy, swimming, walking outdoors, and making art, to name a few.

I knew even during pregnancy that I have to take deliberate steps to still continue taking care of myself as I enter the crazy busy life of motherhood. It’s a good thing I am blessed with a husband who cares about these things as much as I do.

We’ve nailed down eating healthy with weekly meal preps and having healthy snacks handy at home. With my art, I “steal” quiet times to create. I do sketches which take me about 5 to 10 minutes to create. I draw what I see. I take pictures of the sky, which can be seen through our glass doors, when I see interesting cloud formations and gorgeous sunset views. I do digital art at night when Howell is in charge of caring for Raphael. I write these blogs when Raphael sleeps according to his sleep schedule.

On Fridays, Howell works from home so I can go out and do whatever it is that will make me feel human again. I have a stash of expressed breastmilk so Howell can feed Raphael if he ever gets hungry while I’m out. I usually get about 2-3 hours of alone time. I use this time to swim and do the groceries. Didn’t know how relaxing doing groceries can be until now!

When weather is good, Raphael and I join Howell and Milo for Milo’s everyday walks. It’s just a bit upsetting these days because it’s been raining since autumn almost everyday, but we make sure to go out every single time the sun shines. I hope summer brings heaps of opportunities for more walks with the whole family.

When all these little things are added up, they make a huge contribution to my wellbeing, which directly impacts my capacity to care for Howell, Raphael, and even Milo. I used to think that thinking of yourself as a mother is selfish but really, you cannot pour from an empty vessel. I am able to give because my cup is always filled. Thank God for a loving and caring husband!

Categories
Art Practice Family Musings

Establishing an Art Career as a Mum – My Learnings so Far

If I haven’t mentioned it enough, I am a first time mum to a now 2-month old baby.

I am currently studying for a Diploma in Creativity and I have been taking really small steps to establish a career in art while doing my studies because studying art is not really a pre-requisite for an art career. I am not fully set on the path I wish to pursue but I just keep on creating for now with the goal of forging my own path someday soon.

I used to think that having a child meant automatically abandoning this goal of mine but with encouragement from other artists and other mums, I realised it shouldn’t be the case.

Thus far, here are the things I have learned and have been helping me push through with these small steps to achieving my goal.

Be intentional

Unlike my previous process where I stay at my studio and wait for inspiration to strike, I now have a list of things and ideas I can implement when I find the small windows of time where I can work. Every opportunity is an opportunity to create so I have to be intentional on how I spend my limited time. These days, I’m fortunate enough to have an hour to spare at a time while baby is asleep because I also do chores and self-care in between.

Use the limited resources that you have

It’s a chore altogether just to get to my studio and set things up so I gathered a limited number of supplies I can easily reach and stored them in our lounge so I can easily set things to action. I found that having a limited number of supplies allows me to better focus as well. Sadly, I am not able to use any wet media, my favourite go-tos, at the moment because of how tedious it is to set it up. I am learning new ways to create because dry media isn’t something I’m used to. Here’s to learning new things!

Keep an accessible avenue to store your ideas

I used to write most of my ideas on my visual diary. However, as I’m usually on my feet, I found it easier to write my ideas on my phone instead. It is so convenient to have all my ideas in one place because I can easily jump onto any creative project and easily execute an idea.

Use the simple, mundane moments as inspiration

I used to think that only the big milestones count as my inspiration – times I see my dreams fulfilled, major life changes, anything but the present. When I gave birth, I became impatient thinking that I can only get back on track with me pursuing my dreams once my child is in school. Now, I have learned that any time I maximise is a good time.

My child’s first smile, his first round of vaccinations, his first day out, his daily naps, his interactions with our dog Milo, the times he feeds, and his moments with his dad – these are a collection of memories I can always tap on for inspiration when I need one.

Kids grow up so fast, I’ve heard plenty of mums say. I have been learning that this is only for a season – who knows, there might even come a time when I can eventually collaborate with my child in creating. Now that’s a very exciting thought!

Categories
Family

Of Setting Up Roots – Our First Home

Needless to say, the past few years have been a whirlwind of events for everyone, including our family. From the pandemic to career changes to having our first child to now, having our first home.

Howell and I take pride in our capacity to lay out plans, set them in motion, and see it to completion.

From our first year in New Zealand, we already knew the things we wanted and made sure to plan them out so plans would move. We usually set a special day and place when we’ll just go out into nature and present our desires in prayer and discern which ones we are to pursue based on God’s leading. It has been amazing seeing all these desires come into fruition. One of those God has fulfilled is our desire for a home of our own.

In planning for our home, we knew it would entail diligent saving up of money and knowing our preferences even before we seek out for one. So we set up all our finances in a way that we have set up the amount of savings we’ll have and then work our expenses around it. We were not earning heaps but we were earning enough. We lived in a humble 2-bedroom flat for the first four years, planned for cost-effective but fun holidays, and generally lived way below our means during the years we were saving money.

Come 2020, we knew we were ready to pursue our first home. Now we all know what happened in the great year 2020. During the lockdown here in New Zealand, we had time to set our essentials and preferences for our first home. We knew that location is prime factor, options for expansion, and just generally good craftsmanship of the house. Straight after lockdown, we finally set our plans in motion. I remember asking the Lord for a powerful testimony from this process…

We asked friends, family members, and workmates of the things we need to consider, the hows of home loans, and just general knowledge of purchasing our first home. We were referred to a broker who also knows of an opportunity for a private sale – easy as! Unfortunately, none of the people we asked had any experience with a private sale!

A few days after our first meeting with the broker, we were already viewing the property. We knew that properties were on the upward trend then so we locked it in straight after we viewed it for a few minutes. A few weeks after, we already signed the Sale and Purchase Agreement – this was on September 2020. Again, easy as! The catch? We had to wait for the property to be subdivided prior to settlement.

We were promised just a few months for the subdivision to happen. Yep, we can deal with that. We just negotiated that we live in the property while the process of subdivision was being done. And so we moved to our home on March 2021. We were confident because we were a double income couple with no dependents, nothing we need to worry about.

Until…

A year after, year 2022, we were down to one income and we were expecting our miracle baby… Things have become so unpredictable. The processing dragged a while for a myriad of reasons we did not have control of. Add the changes to CCFA rolled out on December 2021, things looked bleak.

A few days before settlement, we received news that our home loan pre-approval wasn’t granted by the bank. To add to the injury, two other banks declined our home loan application. And not only was our 12% down payment no longer accepted, we had to have the full 20% down payment to secure a loan. We had to request for an extension of settlement as well because, how can anyone complete these requirements in a few days? Haha.

A family member helped us acquire the remaining 8%. After which, our settlement date extension was also granted, and we had to comply with the additional requirements by other banks for our home loan to be granted. Thanks to the people who have assisted us, and also to Kainga Ora for their first home grant, we got there in the end. The settlement came through yesterday, 16th June.

It was such an exciting and humbling experience for us. From being the ideal first home buyers, everything changed in just a year. We initially set out to independently purchase our first home without the help of anyone but ended up needing help from several generous and supportive people in our circles. We were not only given financial assistance, but were blessed with the wisdom of these people. A powerful testimony indeed! It wasn’t what we had, not our skills, not our financial management prowess alone brought us through this milestone. We knew God has walked before us and paved the way for us. He also used other people to help provide for what we needed. He has kept His promise in spite of the challenges, and we know we wouldn’t have it any other way…

I write this today from our three-bedroom home located in a private cul-de-sac, seconds away from the city centre, with also a couple of parks and beaches 15 to 30 minutes away. While I cannot give a home tour now because of the busyness of a first time mum, here are a couple of gorgeous sunsets visible from our place.

…The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does.

Psalm 145:13
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Family Musings Uncategorized

Our Birth Story – Baby Raphael

Our son, Raphael, was born on 5th May 2022, 2:23PM, at Wellington Regional Hospital via elective C-section.

I was honestly hoping for a normal delivery for my fear of recovery after a C-section. I have heard stories of how easy the procedure was but how demanding and tedious it can be during recovery. At 32 weeks, it was explained to me that because of a high risk pregnancy, I cannot go beyond 38 weeks. Therefore, my options would be an induction or a C-section at either 37 or 38 weeks.

However, at 34 weeks, I was presented with a surprise from my dear Raphael that he flipped and that he was in a footling breech presentation. As I understood it, a vaginal delivery is still possible, but was not advisable in these cases and so I was offered either an ECV (External Cephalic Version – turning a breech baby) or an elective C-Section. I initially booked an ECV at 36 weeks but opted off it after careful discernment and discussions with fellow mums, friends, and family. There may be a reason why my bubba turned at 34 weeks and I will never know what that was but we chose not to meddle with whatever was going on in my tummy.

This, then, meant that an elective C-Section was my only option.

I was booked for a C-Section at 37 weeks and 4 days. I was given detailed instructions on how we would go about it. I did a blood test the day prior and put in a request for blood bags should I need it for the operation. I also took Omeprazole the night prior and the morning of the surgery. I was required to fast the night before the surgery and no liquids an hour before I come in the hospital.

On the day of the surgery, we arrived at around 7:20AM and was told that I was the only C-section booked for the day. However, as with any plan, some other things come up. I was bumped off twice because an emergency C-section was performed on another mum and a C-section booked the day prior was moved to the day of my surgery. I was then bumped to be the last one to have had the surgery. The only issue I had was being too thirsty, hungry, and anxious if the procedure was to push through that day or not.

Once they started preparing me, it only took a few minutes before I found myself in the theatre. I was immediately briefed on how my epidural would be done. The only time I felt pain was when the anesthesia was being injected on me – I felt sharp, stabbing pains on my spine area which lasted for a couple seconds. After which, everything from waist down went numb and the doctors were off to delivering my son. In about 10 minutes, Raphael was out. They stitched me back for about 30 minutes and then I was wheeled into the Recovery Room.

In the recovery room, they waited for my anesthesia to wear off. While waiting, they gave me an ice block, water, and a sandwich. I was so drowsy but wasn’t in any sort of pain. Once they saw my toes and my knees twitch, I was then brought to the postnatal ward. They constantly checked baby’s and my heart rate, oxygen levels, and glucose levels. It took two days for Raphael’s sugars to stabilise. On Day 2, I was supposed to be transferred to Kenepuru Hospital, one that’s nearer us, for my recovery. However, I was given the option to stay in Wellington Hospital or be discharged home instead – whichever I prefer. There wasn’t much trouble for us in choosing our options because healthcare in New Zealand is free – we just choose whatever works best for us. This was one of the things we greatly appreciated here. It would have cost us a fortune to carry and give birth to our dear one if we were in the Philippines.

Our movements were very limited in the hospital and so we chose to be discharged home instead. We invited my in-laws to our home that night so they will have an opportunity to meet baby as they were not allowed to visit the hospital due to Covid restrictions. It was great for them to have met baby and help us set up stuff that night. In the succeeding days, though, we decided it was best not to accept any visitors until I was fully recovered, which was graciously accepted by the people wanting to visit us. It was mentally and physically taxing for me to be receiving visitors as we were also trying to establish our breastfeeding routine and was waiting for my milk to come in.

I am writing this on Day 9 post partum. Milk came in at Day 4, midwife already visited us twice, my bleeding has subsided, and I am down to paracetamol for my pain relief. We took off my wound dressing already but everything is still sore. I still take things slow, walk and move very slowly. Howell took 2 weeks off work so he is currently in charge of everything house-related. We are all getting better everyday but it has been a very slow and gradual process. The adjustments are not just physical – it is mental, emotional, even spiritual.

At this point, we are just taking things one step at a time. I am personally looking forward to going on my daily walks with Howell and Milo, this time along with Raphael. I look forward to doing art again, moving freely without pain, meeting people again, this time with our first child in tow. Life is good, we couldn’t ask for more…

Categories
Settling in NZ Uncategorized

NZ Visa Experience

One of the issues immigrants face is applying for visas to work and stay in another country. In the years past, it was not too difficult for migrants to get a visa to stay permanently here in New Zealand. Unfortunately, we came at a time when a lot of the processes and requirements have changed. As for me, here is my experience of the whole process. Bear in mind that this is not a comprehensive one since everything is already a blurry for me.

What visa do I apply for?

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The visas I applied for in a nutshell.

I came to New Zealand through a Visitor’s Visa that will last for 59 days. We opted for this one because it was free. We knew that once I get here, I will apply for another visa, thus we chose not to have any additional spend for this. Note that Howell is already a Permanent Resident visa holder since 2011 so we did not have to worry about his visa here.

When we were already here, we did not know what options we had for my visa so we consulted Immigration NZ. They have confirmed that with our specific case, given that we were already living together for more than 12 months during the time of application, we can opt to apply straight to residency (which can take up to 9 months at the time we called) or if we wish to have a visa that would allow me to work soon, then we can choose the work visa (with processing time of 25 days max) instead. Given that there were more opportunities for me at that time, we decided to apply for the work visa since its processing time is shorter.

After I got a job, we pushed for the application of my residency visa. We needed to save up for another application (because fee$$$ haha) so we postponed it until I had my own job.

Timelines

My visitor’s visa was approved in 10 days if I can remember it right. Processing time was shorter perhaps because it was my second visit already.

My work visa was approved 4 months after I submitted my application, in contrary to the 25 days stated in their website then. This was the toughest visa I had to apply for because I had issues with my urine test. I had to retake because they found traces of sugar in my urine sample (which was not normal). It went downhill from there. For some reason, it was difficult for them then to confirm what stage my application was but it was approved nevertheless.

My resident visa was approved 5 months after my application. Should we have known that the timelines for the work and resident visa would be the same, we would have opted to apply straight to resident visa since we spent a significant amount for both applications.

Requirements

All requirements can be found on Immigration NZ’s website. Their list of requirements are pretty comprehensive and straightforward so there is no guesswork, especially for the visitor’s visa.

The requirements for my work and resident visa are almost the same, except we added a few items like the tenancy agreement and home bills to the resident visa application since we were already renting on our own then. Since my application is partnership-based, we had to provide documents that will prove that we are in a genuine and stable relationship for more than 12 months. A marriage certificate here is a recognized proof of a relationship but is not enough to prove a genuine and stable one so we had to add on several items to the application. Below is a list of all the requirements  I can remember:

  • Marriage certificate
  • Tenancy agreement
  • Statement of joint bank account
  • Statement of joint investments
  • Copious amount of photos, especially the ones we’ve posted on social media
  • Letters from family members posted to our home
  • Utility billings
  • Timeline of the relationship (a friend told me a bullet-type of timeline is acceptable but since I am extra, I did a 3-page narration of our love story;) )
  • Tickets and bookings from all our travels throughout the years
  • Some people submit references (statements from people in NZ who know them and can testify about the status of their relationship) but we chose not to because we are both not comfortable asking people for this

Extra items to take note of

  • Personally, keeping in touch with Immigration is helpful throughout the process of applying. I usually call them at least twice a month just to check on the status of my application. When my case officer emailed me, I emailed her twice. There is a thin line between asking and being pushy in terms of asking for updates so you’d have to strike a balance on this.
  • Be as organized as possible because you may need your documents in another application. We have all our documents filed in one binder so it is easy to produce them when it is needed.

What now?

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My Resident Visa

For those who wanted to know what my current visa is, it will allow me to stay in New Zealand indefinitely. However, should I choose to travel outside of New Zealand after 19th March 2020, I will need to apply for another resident visa to re-enter the country.

I can also apply for a permanent resident visa after 2 years. So if we will be travelling outside New Zealand after 19th March 2020, we might need to apply for permanent resident visa. In 5 years, I will be eligible to apply for citizenship.

As an NZ Resident, I am also eligible to receive all the benefits a citizen or permanent resident has, e.g. health care, KiwiSaver, maternity leave, etc.

Other options

For those wanting to apply for a visa here, visit https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new-zealand-visas for more details. The information in their website is really helpful. You can also choose to ring them for specific questions. Here is a quick information on how to contact them.

Hope this was helpful!