Tag: artist mum

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Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 7

28 June 2022

My dearest Raphael,

I know you’ve been extra clingy the past two weeks because you were sick. Tonight was different, though. You held my face for the first time. You made sure I was beside you just before you slept.

I felt so loved, my child. It’s like my heart is bursting with so much happiness because I simply am your mum. It’s such a privilege to be entrusted with a child like you.

You are compassionate, cooperative, kind, and affectionate. I love seeing you grow.

I might have had doubts about being your mum, but those doubts seem so little now that I am getting to know you more.

I want to stay by your side for as long as I can, my son. You are my treasure. 

May you know and accept how loved you are – by us, your parents, by God, and by so many other people I can not even count.

You still have so much in store for you. For now, sleep well knowing that we are here and God’s angels are watching over you. May you dream wonderful dreams tonight.

Yours forever,

Mum

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Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 6

8 June 2022

My Dearest Raphael,

It has been a little more than a month since you were born. Those weeks have been really tough for your dad and me. Apart from my recovery and our adjustments to having you, life seemed to have thrown another curve ball, which is the long-awaited settlement of our home.

At the time I’m writing this, we are still in the process of waiting for my Kiwisaver to be processed and our home loan to be approved. I cannot begin to describe how mentally and physically draining these all are.

Somehow, in the midst of these issues, you have been the ray of sunshine who gives me reasons to hope and to continue fighting. Earlier this evening, as your dad and Milo did their normal evening walks, I somehow had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to protect you, of wanting to give you all the love I can possibly ever give.

I am surprised at how little you are yet how big your effect had been in our lives. I love you, my child. I hope you will grow knowing how loved and valuable you are to us. You have saved me in so many ways, my child. I have no words to describe how, you just did. I will forever be grateful for the gift of you.

Yours forever,

Mum

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Art Practice

Everybody’s Moved… but Me

I was inspired to create similar works from the The Days are Long painting I recently did. I’m honestly motivated to create a series exploring more on my postpartum journey using these skyscapes. And so this second work was born!

I called it Everybody’s Moved… but Me.

This was inspired mainly by my reaction to social media posts I’ve seen of my friends and acquaintances. Since mums of newborns don’t have much of a choice in terms of things to do, it’s easy to turn to one’s phone and scroll our time away. I was active and spent heaps of time outside the house prior to giving birth and so the sudden slow pace really got to me.

Seeing other people go about their normal routines is enough to make me super jealous. It felt like everything was as normal for the world I know and there I was watching everything go by. Everybody seemed to be moving… but me.

With the intention of this being a series, I used skyscapes, yet again, to illustrate this experience. I particularly like the colours I used here and making gradients through oils is such a satisfying experience!

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Art Practice Family

My Recent Work: The Days are Long

The Days are Long, Triptych 16 “x 20”, oil on canvas

Prior to giving birth, I was working on a printmaking project which I never completed. It is a detailed piece which I never had the capacity to complete when I gave birth.

Within three months postpartum, I still was not able to create so I chose to take photos of the things around me when I can. One of the type of photos I took were of the skyscapes that can be viewed from our glass doors.

On my fourth month postpartum, I had more time to think about what I wanted to do. I wanted to process the beautiful photos of skyscapes I took so I experimented on a number of things and settled on painting it.

My recent work is a triptych oil painting on canvas. I have dabbled with oils several times but it’s just now that I’ve done a proper piece with it. It works well with my process since I usually work when baby is down on his day naps so oils suit because I can just leave the paint and resume work when possible.

The Days are Long explores my postpartum experience. The heavy, dark borders appeal to the sense of being boxed in. The black and white illustrative lines contrast with the bold colours and strokes of the skyscape. This depicts the stark contrast of the dullness of staying put at home and the colourful world right before me. The different skyscape styles and colours indicate the passage of time. It seemed during those months that my life was at a standstill while I watch the world go by.

I am writing this six months postpartum and things have already changed. It’s amazing to look back at this experience and see that things do improve. The days feel long but my wee one is becoming more independent day by day. It is wonderful to have an avenue to record these experiences and I would love to create more of them in the coming months.

What did you think of this piece? Any constructive feedback is welcome!

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Categories
Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 5

3 May 2022

My Dearest Raphael,

Two days from now, we will get to hold you in our arms. Mummy will have an elective c-section because you will be born in breech position. We are both excited and nervous but we’re more excited than ever. We have waited so long for you, my child.

Your very existence is a gift. I do not know what the future will bring or how difficult things will be for us, but I believe that the joy of having you will be greater than any struggle we will ever have.

You are loved way more than you could ever imagine. I have loved you even before you were ever conceived. Imagine our joy when we found out that you’re already on the way!

I have no words to ever describe what I feel right now but you are one of the Lord’s greatest blessings to us. Hang in there. We’ll see you very soon.

With joyful anticipation,

Your Mum

This is another series I launched in this space. I have written numerous letters to my child in the hopes of giving this to him as a gift someday. These letters also serve as a way for me to pour out my thoughts and emotions during the different stages of my pregnancy and motherhood.

Some letters I might post as an excerpt, some I’d publish unabridged. I hope to give this someday to Raphael and I want to keep some of my private thoughts and wishes, private.

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Art Practice Musings

Organisation and Consistency in Art-Making

I used to think that being organised belonged exclusively to the corporate world. When I started taking art seriously, I never bothered to organise because there is the common notion that artists are disorganised and work “freely” without any sort of pattern or routine. All these changed when I became a mum…

I can now only do art or write in short windows of time unlike the long stretches of hours I used to have when I didn’t have a child yet. I had to make certain adjustments to make this work.

Choose doable projects suitable for the way I work.. for now.

I have a pipeline of work I wanted to get done but I realised because of all the constraints I have, I should choose the most doable ones for now, just to still have a sense of satisfaction in creating. I still have a printmaking project needing to get done but it was just too detailed. I am not able to get physically close to the projects I am making because I usually have a baby in my arms so projects like those would need to be parked for now.

I can pursue the more complicated stuff in the future, when bubba is more independent thaan he is now.

Set limits on the materials you use

It’s amazing what putting limits can do. With me, once my parameters for working and the materials I am working with are set, I become freer to create. Putting limits allows me to focus on the task at hand and not be mesmerised by the possibilities all my tools and materials promise. It also gives my physical space to work because I won’t have to deal with the clutter of working with several mediums at a time.

Have tasks broken down into small chunks

This comes in handy for when baby is napping. I can just run to my workspace and get things done. It would be another layer of work if I come into my workspace not knowing exactly what needs to get done so if I already have a list of tasks just waiting to be accomplished, it’s easier to get things moving and tick things off my list.

Have your thoughts/ organisecd in one space for easy reference

I used to have several notebooks for different types of projects and/or ideas but it just isn’t practical to have those now. A visual diary which is with me ALL the time is useful so I can jot down or sketch all my ideas and find them in one place instead of combing through different notebooks/ sketchpads.

Pack away materials and equipment as soon as a project is done

So clutter does not accumulate and you’ll have plenty of space to work on your next one. I used to miss out on this task because there would “always be another day” to clean my mess but that’s just adding on to my endless list of to dos if I don’t get it done straight away.

Accept that you may not be working in the studio exclusively

My home studio used to be my exclusive working space because I hate clutter in other parts of the house but I’ve learned to accept that my whole home is my work space for now because it’s how I get more done. My painting stuff are in the living room, my sketching materials are lying on our coffee table, and I am currently writing this on our dining table. It is what it is!

Show up

Some days I find myself wanting to just lounge around but because all my materials are at arm’s length, I can quickly get something done. I haven’t done a lot that I am proud of recently, but I get things done nevertheless. It’s so tough pausing and then getting back to creating – I felt like I lost all the skills I’ve built upon in the last years because of the 4 months I was not creating. Now I’ve decided to just show up. I allot at least 4 hours broken into my day to create. It may be quick sketches or just a layer of primer on my canvas but I do it anyway. Helps me to have a continuous art practice which adds to my repertoire of skills.

Have hope that things do change

My son used to sleep on my arms for the most part of the day, now I can leave him for his day naps for at least 30 minutes to 2 hours. My way of working has changed together with the changes my son is experiencing.

In saying that, an artist mum should be flexible readjusting the way she works depending on the stage of development her child is in. I, for one, am, looking forward to the day I can start creating art with him!

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Categories
Family Musings

Squeezing what you can, when you can

My son usually sleeps through to 8AM for the past few months but he has just about changed his routine to include waking up at around 6AM to sleeping again at around 7/7:30AM through to 10AM.

What does this mean for me?

I adjust my painting/ working time based on my son’s schedule because during the day, he just won’t allow me to put him down for more than 30 minutes. I work during his wake times because I can walk around using a baby carrier.

His change in sleep routine means I am free to do anything from 7 to 10AM! What an opportunity! So today, I woke up, had breakfast with my husband, did a second coating of my primer for my new painting, and have now written a blog about this.

A year ago, I’d say you’re dreaming if you have coerced me to do even one of those things in less than an hour!

What I’ve learned, as a mum, is that you squeeze what you can when you can. Any time you have to yourself is golden. Today, I have done the things that bring me joy even before my son wakes up, and it’s exhilarating! I love being productive and it also allows me to take care of him guilt-free during the day. Accomplishing these things take my feelings of guilt for not doing the things I think I’m supposed to be doing instead of being tied down solely to taking care of my bubba.

I love taking care of him but I know that I have to fight for these “free times” for my own mental health and it does feel good to give time the value it deserves.

So whoever you are, whatever you are on to today, I hope you wake up with enthusiasm that you have one of the most valuable resources available to us: time. Use it to bring yourself joy today. Use it to be productive. Use it to make someone else happy. Whatever you do, use it! It is precious and time deserves to be given the value it deserves. Good day!

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Art Practice Family Musings

Establishing an Art Career as a Mum – My Learnings so Far

If I haven’t mentioned it enough, I am a first time mum to a now 2-month old baby.

I am currently studying for a Diploma in Creativity and I have been taking really small steps to establish a career in art while doing my studies because studying art is not really a pre-requisite for an art career. I am not fully set on the path I wish to pursue but I just keep on creating for now with the goal of forging my own path someday soon.

I used to think that having a child meant automatically abandoning this goal of mine but with encouragement from other artists and other mums, I realised it shouldn’t be the case.

Thus far, here are the things I have learned and have been helping me push through with these small steps to achieving my goal.

Be intentional

Unlike my previous process where I stay at my studio and wait for inspiration to strike, I now have a list of things and ideas I can implement when I find the small windows of time where I can work. Every opportunity is an opportunity to create so I have to be intentional on how I spend my limited time. These days, I’m fortunate enough to have an hour to spare at a time while baby is asleep because I also do chores and self-care in between.

Use the limited resources that you have

It’s a chore altogether just to get to my studio and set things up so I gathered a limited number of supplies I can easily reach and stored them in our lounge so I can easily set things to action. I found that having a limited number of supplies allows me to better focus as well. Sadly, I am not able to use any wet media, my favourite go-tos, at the moment because of how tedious it is to set it up. I am learning new ways to create because dry media isn’t something I’m used to. Here’s to learning new things!

Keep an accessible avenue to store your ideas

I used to write most of my ideas on my visual diary. However, as I’m usually on my feet, I found it easier to write my ideas on my phone instead. It is so convenient to have all my ideas in one place because I can easily jump onto any creative project and easily execute an idea.

Use the simple, mundane moments as inspiration

I used to think that only the big milestones count as my inspiration – times I see my dreams fulfilled, major life changes, anything but the present. When I gave birth, I became impatient thinking that I can only get back on track with me pursuing my dreams once my child is in school. Now, I have learned that any time I maximise is a good time.

My child’s first smile, his first round of vaccinations, his first day out, his daily naps, his interactions with our dog Milo, the times he feeds, and his moments with his dad – these are a collection of memories I can always tap on for inspiration when I need one.

Kids grow up so fast, I’ve heard plenty of mums say. I have been learning that this is only for a season – who knows, there might even come a time when I can eventually collaborate with my child in creating. Now that’s a very exciting thought!