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Family Musings Uncategorized

Just Another Monday

We had a busy weekend last week. Coming into Monday, I knew things will get hectic since Rapha is coming to kindy and it’s the start of Howell’s work week.

Unsurprisingly, Rapha woke up in a state of complete meltdown this morning. There are no other issues except that he woke up hahahaahhahaha!

It’s a good thing we came in equipped with tools that Rapha’s kindy taught us. We went to two parenting workshops which focused on self-regulation and relationship-building with children through play.

I stayed with him, fully present and calm. There was no shouting or heightened emotions like I was used to. After the longest fifteen minutes of my life, he came around and got ready for kindy like nothing happened.

Made me look back at my childhood and most of my friends’ upbringing, too. Information about child development and parenting were not as available then. These types of information would have saved a lot of us from grief and trauma some of us had to go through.

Going through and following through with the action steps we were recommended with has been very healing to my inner child. If only I was parented this way, I would sometimes think…

Still, I find myself grateful for the kind of support we are receiving for us to be better parents to our own child. There is hope for the future – and I am so glad to have the opportunity to help shape it by being a better parent today. Parenting has been taking a lot of time, effort, emotions, and prayers from me, but I wouldn’t do it any other way…

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Mum Diaries Entry #1

Rapha was being stubborn this morning, which made me blurt out, “Do you want to see an angry Mummy?

To which he replied, “Want to see angry Rapha?”, in a matter-of-fact manner. 🤦‍♀️

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Art Practice Family Uncategorized

Artist Mum Life: Two Years In

Blue Rose by Sheen Ventenilla-Tungol

With hopeful expectations, I came into motherhood thinking that, by my sheer willpower, nothing will change with my art practice. In my heart of hearts, I even thought I would nail all my roles with flying colours because I am soooooo good at juggling several things at a time.

Two years in, in full humility, I admit that I DID NOT nail all my roles. Nope. Nope. Nope.

I still put in the effort. I would say I do have an art practice. I make something almost everyday. I squeeze art in every single opportunity I get. However, things are not turning out the way I envisioned them to be. I still am not earning from art, not winning any awards, not qualifying for any of the known art shows here in NZ. Maybe it’s the economy, maybe it’s the market saturation of artists these days, or maybe now isn’t just my time yet—whatever the reason, I am not where I thought I’d be a couple years ago.

I am not in despair, though. I have readjusted my expectations of how my current world works. I am focusing on the things I can control.

First item I had to adjust my expectations for was childcare. I thought that when Rapha turns two, all I had to do was to decide to send him to kindy and as long as I was on a waitlist, all will be well. However, all is not well. Kindys are full. Rapha is on the 21st on the waitlist of the kindy which is a couple minutes’ walk from our place. He was on the waitlist since he was one year old. Even the ones which are a 5-10 minute drive ones are unavailable. I was on a limbo for a couple months until I decided I’ll just wait for the kindy near our place and if it never happens, then he’ll stay with me at home and we’ll find ways to make things work.

Second item is my expectation of earning from my art. It has always been the goal even when I didn’t even know what I was specifically selling. These days, I am focused on building a body of work I can stand behind. I do have a good number of artworks now, but I am not happy with them going out into the world yet, so I had to step back and aim to have an established process first and a body of work that I would be proud to show. In saying that, what I do these days is join group exhibits because it takes less work and still gives me an avenue to show some of my work.

With balancing the needs of a child and my art practice, I finally accepted that it is virtually impossible to do both at the same time. Case in point: this is my 5th attempt in 2 weeks to complete this blog entry. I just do not have enough hands for it, so instead of squeezing art during the day, I do it while he naps and once he sleeps at night. The need to watch over him to keep him alive is much more necessary these days because he’s a terrible two indeed.

The future is bright, though, because I have found ways to keep him busy these days. He has different sets of toys, art materials, and musical instruments he can explore during the day. All I need is to make it enjoyable enough for him to explore them independently.

This is all a phase, and until things free up more, I will stay here and enjoy the ride.

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Uncategorized

Rapha’s 6-month Milestones

I never understood why parents make a fuss about every single “skill” their kids learn… until now!

It is, apparently, a big deal when babies/ kids learn new things because they become closer to becoming functional adults. And as a parent, I couldn’t be prouder for my bubba’s milestones.

He can now roll… and crawl in reverse

We were getting worried because he never showed any effort to roll when he was 4 months but he eventually rolled at the end of 5 months and has never stopped since! Along with rolling, he has also started crawling… in reverse! Hilarious!

He can sit himself up

This one was a surprise because after rolling at the end of 5 months, he sat up by himself a few days after, a speedy development compared to him learning how to roll.

He has started eating solids

This one was not only fun for him but also for me! We mix baby-led weaning and purees. I enjoy thinking of and preparing food for him. It’s amazing how easily he has learned to pick food up and bringing it to his mouth. So far, he has enjoyed oats and toasts but not carrots.

He has been babbling nonstop

…Even at 3AM! This boy is so playful and expressive. He is very endearing in spite of the sleepless nights.

He is curious about the world

He would spend a good time observing his environment, whether at home or when we’re out on walks. In social environments, he prefers people-watching before engaging with anybody. He would grab anything he could his hands onto and figure out how things work. It’s such a huge time of learning for him and we’re delighted witnessing it!

He has started playing with our dog, Milo

And because of Milo’s fun-loving nature, they both benefit from this interaction. Milo’s been really gentle with Rapha – it’s been wonderful seeing them interact.

He can play by himself

Though he still prefers playing with us, Rapha is comfortable being left in his playpen for a couple minutes now. This is very helpful, especially for me, in getting things done.

He is now capable of submerging in the pool

This was a big one for me because it shows he’s growing more comfortable in the water now, a valuable skill for just about any child. The sign to look out for before submerging is when he closes his eyes and mouth when his chin gets in contact with water and it was just this week that he did that! He also kicks in the pool now and generally enjoys his weekly swimming lessons.

That’s us! I am one proud and happy Mum! I can’t wait for him to unlock more skills in the coming months. 🙂

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Family Musings Uncategorized

Our Birth Story – Baby Raphael

Our son, Raphael, was born on 5th May 2022, 2:23PM, at Wellington Regional Hospital via elective C-section.

I was honestly hoping for a normal delivery for my fear of recovery after a C-section. I have heard stories of how easy the procedure was but how demanding and tedious it can be during recovery. At 32 weeks, it was explained to me that because of a high risk pregnancy, I cannot go beyond 38 weeks. Therefore, my options would be an induction or a C-section at either 37 or 38 weeks.

However, at 34 weeks, I was presented with a surprise from my dear Raphael that he flipped and that he was in a footling breech presentation. As I understood it, a vaginal delivery is still possible, but was not advisable in these cases and so I was offered either an ECV (External Cephalic Version – turning a breech baby) or an elective C-Section. I initially booked an ECV at 36 weeks but opted off it after careful discernment and discussions with fellow mums, friends, and family. There may be a reason why my bubba turned at 34 weeks and I will never know what that was but we chose not to meddle with whatever was going on in my tummy.

This, then, meant that an elective C-Section was my only option.

I was booked for a C-Section at 37 weeks and 4 days. I was given detailed instructions on how we would go about it. I did a blood test the day prior and put in a request for blood bags should I need it for the operation. I also took Omeprazole the night prior and the morning of the surgery. I was required to fast the night before the surgery and no liquids an hour before I come in the hospital.

On the day of the surgery, we arrived at around 7:20AM and was told that I was the only C-section booked for the day. However, as with any plan, some other things come up. I was bumped off twice because an emergency C-section was performed on another mum and a C-section booked the day prior was moved to the day of my surgery. I was then bumped to be the last one to have had the surgery. The only issue I had was being too thirsty, hungry, and anxious if the procedure was to push through that day or not.

Once they started preparing me, it only took a few minutes before I found myself in the theatre. I was immediately briefed on how my epidural would be done. The only time I felt pain was when the anesthesia was being injected on me – I felt sharp, stabbing pains on my spine area which lasted for a couple seconds. After which, everything from waist down went numb and the doctors were off to delivering my son. In about 10 minutes, Raphael was out. They stitched me back for about 30 minutes and then I was wheeled into the Recovery Room.

In the recovery room, they waited for my anesthesia to wear off. While waiting, they gave me an ice block, water, and a sandwich. I was so drowsy but wasn’t in any sort of pain. Once they saw my toes and my knees twitch, I was then brought to the postnatal ward. They constantly checked baby’s and my heart rate, oxygen levels, and glucose levels. It took two days for Raphael’s sugars to stabilise. On Day 2, I was supposed to be transferred to Kenepuru Hospital, one that’s nearer us, for my recovery. However, I was given the option to stay in Wellington Hospital or be discharged home instead – whichever I prefer. There wasn’t much trouble for us in choosing our options because healthcare in New Zealand is free – we just choose whatever works best for us. This was one of the things we greatly appreciated here. It would have cost us a fortune to carry and give birth to our dear one if we were in the Philippines.

Our movements were very limited in the hospital and so we chose to be discharged home instead. We invited my in-laws to our home that night so they will have an opportunity to meet baby as they were not allowed to visit the hospital due to Covid restrictions. It was great for them to have met baby and help us set up stuff that night. In the succeeding days, though, we decided it was best not to accept any visitors until I was fully recovered, which was graciously accepted by the people wanting to visit us. It was mentally and physically taxing for me to be receiving visitors as we were also trying to establish our breastfeeding routine and was waiting for my milk to come in.

I am writing this on Day 9 post partum. Milk came in at Day 4, midwife already visited us twice, my bleeding has subsided, and I am down to paracetamol for my pain relief. We took off my wound dressing already but everything is still sore. I still take things slow, walk and move very slowly. Howell took 2 weeks off work so he is currently in charge of everything house-related. We are all getting better everyday but it has been a very slow and gradual process. The adjustments are not just physical – it is mental, emotional, even spiritual.

At this point, we are just taking things one step at a time. I am personally looking forward to going on my daily walks with Howell and Milo, this time along with Raphael. I look forward to doing art again, moving freely without pain, meeting people again, this time with our first child in tow. Life is good, we couldn’t ask for more…

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S K-Beauty NZ Settling in NZ Uncategorized

Startups and the Entrepreneurial Spirit

I have always been fascinated with starting things up and building on it. This is one of the reasons why I love getting into new business ventures.

In the past, I ventured into events management, consulting, and even real estate. I also dipped my toes a little onto tutoring piano with kids and adults. The most successful venture I have had so far was events management but I had to pull the plug when we migrated to New Zealand.

Two years in our new home country, my brain and my hands were already itching to get into a new venture. Given that we are in a totally foreign country, I will have to build everything from the ground up. My planning stage consisted of learning the culture of the people here (which I still have not fully figured out), their purchasing patterns and behaviour (online shopping is popular here since there are a limited number of shops, which meant a limited number of products as well), and what item or service I can provide to fulfill a need.

I did not look far. I looked into my own needs. I got hooked with Korean beauty products in 2016. I found their products effective yet inexpensive. I made sure I was fully stocked when we moved here but I soon found myself needing to restock my items and purchasing from the online shops here meant I do not always have my go-to items available. I would purchase from different sites so I will get the best price for the product that I preferred but it was not sustainable for me.

And so my idea for a new business began. I looked for wholesale suppliers who can provide for the products I needed. After several attempts to contact an efficient supplier with the best price, I eventually found one.

The Website

Having found a supplier, I knew I was ready to start my own online shop (as a physical shop will take more effort and capital which I do not have). I purchased a domain and a subscription for an online shop and I thought it will already get easier form there.

Nope. It did not. I had to learn a lot of other items I did not know I needed. I needed to learn about online security, payment options, etc., etc. The list was incredibly wrong. Being the perfectionist that I am, fear started creeping in because my online shop may not be “good enough” until two years in, I already had to renew all my subscriptions, without ever having sold any item because of the things I feared.

The Movers

Fortunately, I am surrounded by Movers. My boss (at my day job), who is ever-supportive of all my crazy ideas, suggested that I can sell on TradeMe first. TradeMe is an online shop/ auction where you can list the items you want to sell. Given that they already have an established customer base, you are bound to sell no matter how long. I started selling in November. My sales were not astoundingly successful but my products are nevertheless moving.

My second mover is no less than my dear husband. Howell has been assuring me that no matter the turnout, what matters is that I did what I wanted to do, which is an achievement in itself already. I did not need to prove anything to anyone, so I do not have to pressure myself into succeeding with this business. I have the products, anyway and I can always just use them if they are not sold. With this encouragement from him, I launched my website on 1st April this year – indeed a good date to launch a business venture!

The Aftermath

Was my launch successful? Far from it. Yet, I am building myself up everyday. I am learning more about the field I chose to be in (Marketing). I am learning more about managing my own website, managing inventories, managing customer expectations, and more importantly, the culture of the people I interact with daily. I call it the aftermath but I am definitely not done yet. There are still a lot of things to do and learn. I still fear but I shall keep on moving!

The Online Shop| S K-Beauty NZ

So then let me introduce you to my online shop! It’s called S K-Beauty NZ. Given the previous issue I had with ordering K-Beauty items, I designed my products and services to fill the need that most similar shops do not provide here in New Zealand.

Store Pick-Up: Residents in Wellington can pick up the items they purchased. This means no waiting time for delivery for those who need their beauty quick fix!

Product Requests: As limited variation of products is an issue here (merchants here do not really have that much of an option as importation expenses are expensive, mainly because we are literally at the edge of the earth), there is an option for customers to request for products which they wish to purchase for me to include it in my next batch of orders. They can just shoot me an email at info@skbeauty.co.nz or use my website’s contact me form. Easy as!

Best-Priced Beauty Products: Last and the most important bit, whether it be a skin care or makeup product, our prices are competitive, and I dare say, the best-priced items there are. That’s a sure win!

With that, I hope anyone who is interested may find their time to visit my online shop and check out the wonderful offerings we do have!

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Uncategorized

Praising God in Season and Out of Season

I am a black or white type of person. Navigating grays is a huge weakness of mine. This behaviour translates not only to my judgement of things but with other areas of my life, too – frustratingly, this includes my emotions.

Things that matter so much to me affects me in ways I can not even explain. Simple events or items that I can not take off my list weigh a heavy burden on my shoulders.

I hate to admit it, but I still am in love with control.

It drives me mad when things do not go as planned, most especially, when I meticulously plan for it –  which, to be fair, is a rare occasion. I tend to be spontaneous because I hate being disappointed. If something is not planned, then I can accept the chaos of it all. But if I have spent a huge chunk of my time on something and it goes haywire, expect dark days. It’s just me.

I came across that crossroad just a few days ago. Do the things that I do still matter? Are these things still of value? Why am I spending so much time on something I may not see the fruits of? It has been utterly frustrating. I pace back and forth and check where I took the wrong turn, an exercise that has always proven itself futile.

In the midst of the chaos, I am reminded of the fact that the God I love and serve does not change. The way I treat Him, the way I love Him, the way I worship Him, should not change because He never does. I am reminded that on those sunny and warm seasons, I can always turn to Him and thank Him for all the wonderful things He brings my way. In the cold and dark seasons, I can always still draw close to Him to seek for comfort.

Ultimately, it’s not about how I feel at any given time. My commitment is not to love the Lord only in the wonderful, blessing-filled days. My commitment is to love the Lord with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind because really, being faithful to Him is not just for Him alone. I believe that God calls us to abide in Him and to cling to Him in the good and the bad so He can provide for us the grace and mercies sufficient for the day.

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Musings Settling in NZ Uncategorized

Welcome 2019!

2019 New year greeting card with fireworks. Minimalist style, geometric thin outline. Vector, eps.10

“…yet in the midst of the chaos, God said, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ Indeed, He is.

Even if I don’t feel it, even if I don’t see it.

I have cried over this several times, asking God to take this cup away from me. I went here with a leap of faith, never fully understanding that it can take a longer time before I fully land my feet on flat ground.

Be still. God will move. God has moved. He paved the way ahead of me, even if I haven’t seen it yet.

I am terribly bad at waiting but this time, I have to be perfectly still and wait for my Saviour who has the best intents for me. I will not whine nor grumble.

I will be still, just as He commanded me.”

This was one of my reflections 2 years ago. We were 2 months in New Zealand and it was a time of complete uncertainty for Howell and I. We just arrived, jobless, and were not even sure of my visa so I can stay in the country.

A month after, Howell got his job, and we moved into our home where we still reside today.

Time flies. It is now 2019.

That was a tough year for us and 2018 was a bittersweet one. Howell was promoted twice, moved into another wonderful company. We found new friends and lost old ones.

I got into a major vehicular accident, had bouts of depression because of the accident, dealt with major health issues because I was in pain for 3 straight months after the accident. After which, it led me to go back to my first love – writing and arts. It was also the year I launched my online shop.

I began to accept that our decision to go here would mean I will be apart from the people I loved the most. We’ve traveled parts of New Zealand and visited the Philippines. We’ve made huge milestones in 2018 and we lost huge parts of our hearts too – some, we know, left a permanent void in our lives.

In all things that happened, God has been faithful. Every pain has its own joys and triumphs.  Every setback has presented us with greater opportunities. Every void was a chance to fill our lives with wonderful surprises.

I know 2019 will present more to me and Howell. May it be good or bad, I know that the Lord will continue to be faithful.

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

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The Long Drive Chronicles Uncategorized

I Am Okay

After a 2-month hiatus from blogging, I am here to tell everyone that I am okay. I was planning to write something about my recent awesome holiday but things happen and writing is the only way I know for me to sort out what happened.

I was on my way to work this morning when I got hit by another car. The next thing I knew, I was holding the wheels sideways, looking for an exit for me to get out of the car. How many times did it flip? I wouldn’t know. I saw the car from the corner but I honestly do not know why the driver decided to go straight ahead.

The first thing I thought was how I was going to go to work and if what happened was real. I was just cruising on the road. I did nothing unusual as I was below the speed limit of that road. The car that hit me came from a corner and I was pretty confident to go straight because it was supposed to stop because that road has a give way sign.

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I think 3 to 4 onlookers came to my rescue as soon as they saw me. They checked up on me if I had any injuries, which at that time, I didn’t know I had so I said I was okay. One of them called in the accident immediately and so 3 police cars arrived a few minutes after the accident. The police got my details and my statement. They sorted everything out as I stayed in one of the police cars.

I called one of my workmates to let her know what happened so she can relay the information as well. And as she just lives around the area where I met the accident, she dropped by to check in on me. My father-in-law came to pick me up and I am here, now, 3 hours after, retelling my story in my blog.

Papa told me that we can learn from these incidents. Praise God that I survived, unscathed. Well, except for a scratch on my left leg and perhaps a bruise on my right leg. I will go and have myself checked once Howell arrives home.

In all these, I just want to get the message across. In terms of practicalities, here are some of the things that people have to consider, especially if they are driving.

  • Nissan Liberty is a safe car. No kidding. I would have died given the damage to the car.
  • Put on your seatbelt. That saved me.
  • Get insurance. It takes your mind off of the financial side of things. I was driving carefully but someone hit me. I couldn’t have predicted that. You may be taking care of yourself but someone might recklessly just crash into you like what happened to me.
  • Contigo water bottles are pretty sturdy hahaha. All the containers where my lunch was packed were broken but my Contigo water bottles? Yeah, nah. Still good.
  • Sort your personal items well so that in emergency cases, they may find the contact details of the people who need to know of your status. Good thing for me, my phone is intact in spite of the crash so I was able to coordinate with people well. Had it broke, I did not even have Howell’s number memorized.

Now that all those practical items are mentioned, I know I have to share the biggest factor why I still am alive at this very moment.

The police officer who came to my assistance asked me if I go to church and I said I did. She surprisingly told me that my faith saved me. And I wholeheartedly believe so. I was moved to worship and to pray even as I was driving at the motorway this morning, a few kilometres from where the accident happened. And I did. I worshipped the Lord for He is glorious, He is all-powerful, He is a God who can bring things into action, wherever you are, whatever circumstances you might be in.

With the damage to my car and with how events happened, I may already be at my Daddy’s side right now. But it wasn’t God’s will yet. I lived to testify to something greater than myself. I am given, literally, a second chance at life. I am moved to tears as I type these words because things would have turned the other way. The Lord saved me and He saved me for a reason. What for? I am bound to find out. Right now, I will just praise and thank Him for the life He has gifted me with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Musings Uncategorized

The Myth that is Preparedness

A few days ago, I saw a video on Facebook which talks about time and how not to waste it, basically. I find these videos a cliche sometimes but then this one made sense. It kind of made me look at some areas of my life that I have not been dealing with. Below is a copy of the video if you want to see it for yourself.

I took several steps to fix my schedule and put a structure to it, somehow, but that is altogether a separate topic.

What I’m driving at is that after I took a good look at my schedule and how I am using my time, I saw that I have been spending it on the things that I love doing, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I haven’t focused on doing the things I need to do to achieve what I want. For most people, doing things that they love and doing things to achieve something they want is almost the same thing, but for me, it isn’t.

To contextualize this confusing concept, when I refer to the things that I love, these are my hobbies–swimming, painting, reading, etc. The things that I want to achieve or want to have are: several businesses, good health (yes, it’s something I am working to achieve now!), eetc.

I saw that I have been postponing the concrete things I should do for me to achieve my goals (one specific goal that I am referring to is a business venture that I have been planning for 2 straight years now) because I want things to be perfect. I want to be fully ready before I do anything for fear that I may fail if I were not perfect or ready enough. Two straight years was not long enough for me to be ready, according to my irrational fears.

It was until Howell offered to do ALL the chores at home for this month just for me to have “time” to focus on this business, which was pretty ironic because he works Mondays till Fridays while I work Wednesdays till Fridays. I guess he knows me too much to know that if he gives me all the time in the world, I might eventually get tired of focusing solely on my hobbies. That’s kind of what happened.

So this week, I finally decided to take that step. A few months back, I already secured my supplier for the items I wanted to sell in my shop. I’ve also been paying for a website of my own for 4 months but because of my fear that I wasn’t ready enough, I totally abandoned doing anything to actually push through with my lofty business idea. Due to my indecision, the supplier I secured ditched me already so I had to frantically search for another supplier who should be reliable enough not to leave me. Thank God, I did found one a day after I found out about the other supplier.

When you look closely at your fears, you’ll often see that fears are just a manifestation of something deeper. For me, I do leave things hanging for fear of not finding a next purposeful goal after I have achieved it. Sometimes, I am too fearful that achieving this specific goal may tie me to a spot where I cannot leave. At times, I fear that I am missing out on something better that may still be out there and so I hold off moving as long as I can. Until I’m ready. Until every area of my circumstances are perfect.

Now, I am totally devoted to this cause, in spite of the fear. Why? Because if I wouldn’t take the first step, nothing will actually happen. What changed? The idea that no matter how wonderful and perfect my ideas are, if I do not do anything to achieve it, it will remain as, well, ideas, however perfect they may be. Ideas are good but without action, they serve no purpose.

At the end of my life, how would I account for how I lived? Like every gift given to me, I’d like to use it to the fullest and make something beautiful, something bigger than myself, out of the little or much that I have been given. There is no better time to move but today, now, at this very moment. Being prepared is good, but being fully prepared is a myth. If it makes sense and if it is something that the Lord wants me to pursue, then I’ll take a leap of faith, hoping against hope that what little I have may bear fruit and bless others.

Featured photo from http://passionforfreshideas.com/personalgrowth/leap-of-faith-jessica-mcgregor-johnson/