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Family Musings Uncategorized

Our Birth Story – Baby Raphael

Our son, Raphael, was born on 5th May 2022, 2:23PM, at Wellington Regional Hospital via elective C-section.

I was honestly hoping for a normal delivery for my fear of recovery after a C-section. I have heard stories of how easy the procedure was but how demanding and tedious it can be during recovery. At 32 weeks, it was explained to me that because of a high risk pregnancy, I cannot go beyond 38 weeks. Therefore, my options would be an induction or a C-section at either 37 or 38 weeks.

However, at 34 weeks, I was presented with a surprise from my dear Raphael that he flipped and that he was in a footling breech presentation. As I understood it, a vaginal delivery is still possible, but was not advisable in these cases and so I was offered either an ECV (External Cephalic Version – turning a breech baby) or an elective C-Section. I initially booked an ECV at 36 weeks but opted off it after careful discernment and discussions with fellow mums, friends, and family. There may be a reason why my bubba turned at 34 weeks and I will never know what that was but we chose not to meddle with whatever was going on in my tummy.

This, then, meant that an elective C-Section was my only option.

I was booked for a C-Section at 37 weeks and 4 days. I was given detailed instructions on how we would go about it. I did a blood test the day prior and put in a request for blood bags should I need it for the operation. I also took Omeprazole the night prior and the morning of the surgery. I was required to fast the night before the surgery and no liquids an hour before I come in the hospital.

On the day of the surgery, we arrived at around 7:20AM and was told that I was the only C-section booked for the day. However, as with any plan, some other things come up. I was bumped off twice because an emergency C-section was performed on another mum and a C-section booked the day prior was moved to the day of my surgery. I was then bumped to be the last one to have had the surgery. The only issue I had was being too thirsty, hungry, and anxious if the procedure was to push through that day or not.

Once they started preparing me, it only took a few minutes before I found myself in the theatre. I was immediately briefed on how my epidural would be done. The only time I felt pain was when the anesthesia was being injected on me – I felt sharp, stabbing pains on my spine area which lasted for a couple seconds. After which, everything from waist down went numb and the doctors were off to delivering my son. In about 10 minutes, Raphael was out. They stitched me back for about 30 minutes and then I was wheeled into the Recovery Room.

In the recovery room, they waited for my anesthesia to wear off. While waiting, they gave me an ice block, water, and a sandwich. I was so drowsy but wasn’t in any sort of pain. Once they saw my toes and my knees twitch, I was then brought to the postnatal ward. They constantly checked baby’s and my heart rate, oxygen levels, and glucose levels. It took two days for Raphael’s sugars to stabilise. On Day 2, I was supposed to be transferred to Kenepuru Hospital, one that’s nearer us, for my recovery. However, I was given the option to stay in Wellington Hospital or be discharged home instead – whichever I prefer. There wasn’t much trouble for us in choosing our options because healthcare in New Zealand is free – we just choose whatever works best for us. This was one of the things we greatly appreciated here. It would have cost us a fortune to carry and give birth to our dear one if we were in the Philippines.

Our movements were very limited in the hospital and so we chose to be discharged home instead. We invited my in-laws to our home that night so they will have an opportunity to meet baby as they were not allowed to visit the hospital due to Covid restrictions. It was great for them to have met baby and help us set up stuff that night. In the succeeding days, though, we decided it was best not to accept any visitors until I was fully recovered, which was graciously accepted by the people wanting to visit us. It was mentally and physically taxing for me to be receiving visitors as we were also trying to establish our breastfeeding routine and was waiting for my milk to come in.

I am writing this on Day 9 post partum. Milk came in at Day 4, midwife already visited us twice, my bleeding has subsided, and I am down to paracetamol for my pain relief. We took off my wound dressing already but everything is still sore. I still take things slow, walk and move very slowly. Howell took 2 weeks off work so he is currently in charge of everything house-related. We are all getting better everyday but it has been a very slow and gradual process. The adjustments are not just physical – it is mental, emotional, even spiritual.

At this point, we are just taking things one step at a time. I am personally looking forward to going on my daily walks with Howell and Milo, this time along with Raphael. I look forward to doing art again, moving freely without pain, meeting people again, this time with our first child in tow. Life is good, we couldn’t ask for more…

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Family

Preparing for Baby: Meal Preps

I’ve always liked preparing for things – events, holidays, school, projects, etc. It’s no surprise I carry the same enthusiasm in preparing for baby’s arrival. I’ve been reading books, forums, Mum groups, so that I’d know what to expect and what can make our lives way more manageable. One of the things I read was that it could tremendously help to have frozen meals ready for the first few weeks once the baby arrives.

And that’s exactly what we did! Last weekend, we were able to produce double serve of 43 frozen meals!

Here’s how we did it:

  1. Have a list of the meals to be cooked and prioritise the order of cooking

I had to have varied choices of meals because I get tired of eating the same things over and over. We chose Filipino foods, a mix of vegetable and meat dishes. While completing the list, I have also factored in the time every dish cooks and which equipment I can use so that I can prioritise which to prepare first.

2. Do grocery shopping – preferably in places where you can bulk buy, especially the meats

We are fortunately located in the city centre so we are spoilt for choice with vegetable and meat shops so we were able to get the best prices for the ingredients we needed.

3. Clear a working space for chopping ingredients

We cleared 2 tables and the kitchen counter so that everything is organised. All cooking utenstils and equipment were washed as soon as they were used.

4. Have all cooking equipment ready.

Here is a list of the useful equipment we used. I don’t think it’s completely necessary to have these but it definitely did help for us to get things done.

Crock-Pot (for slow cook and pressure cook)

Vacuum food sealer

Upright freezer

Freestanding oven

5. Lay down and sort ingredients for each dish that needs to be prepared

6. Howell did the chopping of ingredients and packing of the cooked meals while I cooked up a storm and did the dishes

Having specific assignments for tasks makes everything easier. We also did assignments based on our strengths. Howell is great at organising things and dealing with spaces so he did the packing and clearing space in the freezer for storage while I cook well so I took it on.

We cooked 11 dishes for about 6 hours. Howell did the packing of meals for about 3 hours. Next time, though, I wouldn’t recommend doing this all in one go. It was too exhausting for both of us but I’m glad it’s all done now. We’re hoping these meals would tide us through for about over a month after baby arrives.

Ta-da! Our frozen meals all packed and ready!
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Family

My pregnancy journey thus far

Happy to say I’m at 23 weeks now and the reality of the having the baby is finally sinking in! As I previously shared, I function as normal and didn’t have the usual aches and pains a pregnant woman can expect, which I’m so happy about. In spite of this dealing with pregnancy is not a walk in the park still.

Here are the things I have been experiencing so far:

Diabetes and my medications

I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2019. It has been controlled so far with proper diet, exercise, and metformin. However, I learned that as a pregnant woman, it can be expected that my blood glucose levels can get out of whack so apart from metformin, I had to take both fast and long acting insulin.

I record my blood glucose levels before a meal and 2 hours after a meal, which meant pricking my fingers for a minimum of 6 times a day, not counting the times I go hypoglycemic. With my insulin, I take 1 fast acting one before every meal and twice a day of the long acting one, for a total of 5 injections a day.

It has been a challenge for me since I had to plan all my meals, time them, and adjust my day’s schedule to get my sugars in control all the time. I empathise with mums who work full time! I work from home and yet this challenges me still!

A diabetes nurse monitors my sugars once a week and adjusts my meds depending on my readings. Happy to note that my numbers have been really good the past few weeks.

Food

Apart from all the food you need to avoid while pregnant, I had to adjust my meals to suit the baby’s nutritional needs and my carbs and sugar requirements. This one has been a biggie since day 1 I learned about the pregnancy because I am not used to eating vegetables and I also get hungry all the time! One thing that helped is having a plan.

All my meals and even snacks are planned. I have a limited choice of snacks I can choose from so I didn’t have to think about food all the time and so they’d always be ready when I need one. It’s a great thing that my husband has been cooperating with this diet in a sense that he eats what I eat. It would have been way more difficult if he’s a picky eater who’d want to eat what he wants when he wants it!

Exercise

To manage my blood glucose levels, I also incorporate exercise into my day. Even prior to getting pregnant, I have been walking twice a day with my dog and swim about 3 to 4 times a week. I have kept this routine to this day but I give myself permission not to exercise on days I feel tired. I also do resistance exercises recommended by my trainor who’s a mum herself.

It has kept my moods in control and I found that my energy levels are consistent throughout the day because of this! Bonus is that it keeps me from experiencing aches and pains I’d normally have if I didn’t exercise!

Sleep

One new thing I have been dealing with at the moment is difficulty sleeping. I usually sleep face front and I just learnt that you are suppose to sleep on your left side when you are pregnant because it’s best for the baby and man it has been a challenge for me! To help with my sleep issues, I’d usually keep a book beside me that I can read when I couldn’t sleep and if it doesn’t work, I just sleep sitting down!

Preparations for the baby

We are blessed to have friends and family who already have kids. My sister-in-law has 2 boys and we have seasoned mums at church who have all been so generous giving away their baby stuff to the point that we only had to purchase a pram and a bottle sanitiser for baby. Everything has been provided for by these wonderful mums!

I am already halfway there and each day, I grow more confident that this is doable. It is challenging but I have an entire village who would be there rallying with me and supporting me any way they can.

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Family

My Journey to Pregnancy

My story goes way back 2012 when I was first diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I had irregular periods then but that was the only symptom I had until it progressed to weight gain, insulin resistance, and eventually, as the doctors called it, an unexplained infertility.

It really didn’t bother me until we started trying to conceive, which started in 2018. We were already in New Zealand then so I can say I had sufficient healthcare. We were referred to a fertility clinic and we tried 3 rounds of Letrozole but never in any of those rounds did I ovulate. It was about the same time that I got into a major vehicular accident which impaired me in numerous ways. My regular physical activity rapidly declined as I dealt with my injuries and my undiagnosed PTSD from the accident, which then led me to emotional eating. It all spiraled to a point that I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2019.

We had to hold off all efforts in conceiving since I had to bring my blood sugar down to a safe level first so it was from that point on that we started rethinking our lifestyle and revamping ways we are doing things. The urgent things I had to take care of then was pulling myself out from a toxic environment we were in. We were part of a group who completely ignores mental health issues and wouldn’t even want to talk about it as according to them, it should only be discussed with professionals. I didn’t even know what they meant – for me, it meant they didn’t really care what I was going through but I still had to do my “responsibilities” that I committed to in joining the group. I had to continuously be emptied without any promise of being filled.

It was in 2020 that we decided that enough is enough. We left the group and by God’s grace, found a church who would love Howell and I and care for us no matter the situation. It was tough trying to rebuild new relationships as the previous ones were completely severed because of misinformation that were given to the other members of the group. Still, it has helped my mental health tremendously. Toxic people and environments aren’t worth the work to keep.

And because I was then gaining momentum to heal, I also started getting physically active again. If I could remember it right, there were still strict restrictions in place due to Covid so I wasn’t able to get back to the gym but I found good alternatives like walking everyday for at least 45 minutes and doing online dance workouts. Once the restrictions eased, I went back to swimming for about twice a week and continued my everyday walks.

It was also the same year that I started going to art school, where I found my tribe – people who had the very same passions I had: art. No matter the expression, we had the same understanding of how art is special to us – for the first time since we moved, I felt fully embraced and understood.

In 2021, with careful planning and discussion with my ever supportive husband, I took a break from work to fully recuperate. I had a discussion with my employer because I really did not know what I wanted to do, all I knew was that I wanted a break to fully heal. My dear employer was kind and generous enough to give me some hours I can work from home while I rethink how I wanted my career to go in the near future. This also meant I was spending heaps of time alone at home so as thoughtful as my husband is, he decided to give me a dog to keep me company, and boy did it change my life. If you are keen to see more of our daily adventures with Milo, check out our Instagram page.

Milo is full of beans but is sweet and is a warm company who keeps us happy with his antics.

With my husband’s unconditional love and support, exercise, eating healthy, continuing with my studies, spiritual and emotional support from church, and my sweet Milo by my side all the time, I continued to heal. I started feeling physical improvement around June, which was also reflected in my lab tests that time. I wasn’t thinking of having a baby anymore because the priority was to just heal. I am so blessed to have been given this kind of support by everyone around me. Now here we are, I am currently 20 weeks 5 days pregnant. God has given us a child in His own time, and it is beautiful.

Filling yourself with good and beautiful things physically, mentally, emotionallly, and spiritually will do you wonders, even for someone as complicated and messed up as I am. Reminds me of this beautiful verse in Philippians:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. -Philippians 4:8-9

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Family

Our First Date

Today was our first date… with our baby!

Two weeks ago, I decided to take a pregnancy test because I have not had my period for about 3 months – something that’s just about normal for me as I have PCOS. I used an expired pregnancy test kit because I wasn’t really expecting much from the results. When I saw two lines, I did not hesitate to tell Howell because I completely thought it was a fluke.

It was an unusual result, though, so we bought several more kits to check if the previous result was real. Surprise, surprise, it was!

Fast forward to 2 weeks, with the help of the scan this morning, we had our first date with Baby!

We’ve hoped for this baby for quite a while and I admit, I have stopped praying for one since I’ve learned about my several health issues. However, Howell and I knew that friends and family continued to pray for us. Thank you for praying on our behalf.

We still have a long way before we meet Baby in person but even now, we are joyful that he/ she is loved. Please continue to pray for our health – we’re pretty sure Baby is already excited to meet you too!

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Studies at the Learning Connexion

Paintings that Move by Gary Freemantle

As I’ve mentioned before, I am currently studying New Zealand Diploma in Creativity Level 5. I mainly do distance learning but I enrol in 1 onsite class per term. It allows me to be in company of other artists which can really be inspiring. For the past term, I attended Gary Freemantle’s class – Paintings that Move.

In every class, we had an exercise which we can choose to pursue throughout the day. Below are some of my outputs from the class.

I liked the idea of an underwater garden. Very proud that I did not use any reference for this piece.
This and the next 3 photos below are an exercise to portray depth and shape using brushstrokes. I had fun adding on smoke to this piece but not too happy with the shape.
Among the 4 bowl exercises, this was the one I liked most. I liked the shape and the colour palette I used for this piece.
I tried the exercise using watercolour. It was amazing that with just a few strokes, I was able to complete this.
This last one was just a black and white experiment then I decided to add colour through the flowers.
This was an interesting piece. It started with clouds, then with further strokes, I saw that it could also be waves. The addition of the boat was really fun. I liked how this painting portrayed so much movement.
  • This was our first collaborative piece when Alert Level 4 was announced in New Zealand. We were given random images which Gary gave us the freedom to do whatever with. At the end of the class, Gary puts these pieces together to reveal an image which in this case was a smiley. The one in the red square was my piece. The 3 artworks on top were some of the other options I gave Gary. The artworks in the top middle and top right were painted in gouache.
  • This one was the second collaborative piece.
  • This was the artwork I contributed. I used acrylic as watercolours, some layers were transparent for this piece.
  • This was the final collaborative piece we did.
  • I decided to try doing patterns for this one – the patterns were a very spontaneous decision on my end. Thoroughly enjoyed creating this.
This was an experiment on shapes. I decided to paint a Bahay Kubo, a type of indigenous house in the Philippines. In my future paintings, I am hoping to pursue this track and maybe fuse some unique designs from the Philippines and New Zealand.

I went out of the box with these paintings. I’d say all of them are totally not my style. I enjoy creating them but not sure if I’d ever pursue concepts I learned from these works.

The most important thing I learned from this class was being spontaneous and allowing my consciousness to paint whatever it is that it wants. I didn’t really have much control and planning creating these pieces. In doing so, I get to mix things around and just go out of the box.

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ash the brush's journey

Ash the Brush’s Journey (The Artist’s Process)

As Ash the Brush’s Journey is my first ever published book, friends have had heaps of questions about it – Have you always had a story in your head? What prompted you to write a book? How did you know exactly what to draw?

First off, I’d like to thank all my friends who have already purchased the book, both in New Zealand and in the Philippines. Really appreciate all your support!

So back to my process…

The idea of writing a book has always been a dream of mine so when my mentor asked me what type of project I wish to do, I instantly said I wanted to illustrate one!

After the phone conversation with my mentor, Leigh Mitchell-Anyon, my mind quickly went into overdrive thinking for a topic. I didn’t have one then – all I knew was I wanted to reach children and introduce them to the beauty of art. Couple of minutes after, I went to the literal thinking throne…

And a storyline quickly popped up! I wanted to share that whatever pains we go through will always have a purpose. Then I thought of how I can creatively illustrate that point and thought of how we use paint brushes! Perfect!

I started working on it straight after that!

On the left hand side is how I conceptualized Ash’s features and colours used so all the illustrations are consistent. The top right photo is the final colour palette I’ve chosen for the entire book. The middle photo on the right are my art materials that inspired my book characters. I’ve especially included a Mongol pencil, a brand I’ve used from childhood. The bottom photo on the right is also an inspiration for one of Ash’s journey scenes.

I did a storyboard so I’d have a concrete direction…

Then researched for the appropriate facial expressions for the character…

Did test paintings of all the pages in watercolour, ink, and coloured pencils…

…And made the final paintings.

The most difficult task for me was not the painting part but the scanning, editing, and layout! I have been doing graphic arts for years now thus I was confident to do these tasks but it was way different to my typical editing and layout work!

Good thing I have a good relationship with my printing supplier, they helped heaps in my book layout! Shoutout to the PrintCraft guys Dave and Gary! Inputs about printing and layout from one of the artists I met in class, Michelle Mainwaring, helped heaps as well!

It was an exciting project and I am encouraged to create more. If anyone is wanting to also do their dream projects, I encourage you to do so! Start small, and take those small, wobbly steps haha, you’ll get there!

Ash the Brush’s Journey is now available for sale on my shop. Click on this link and buy your copy today!

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ash the brush's journey

Ash the Brush’s Journey!

A year ago, after the first Covid lockdown, I started going to art school. It was something I’ve always dreamt of but never really got the chance to do.

At about the same time, I was diagnosed with a chronic disease that drove me to a downward spiral. I thought maybe meeting new people and learning new things at school might help me – and help me it did.

One of the first things my mentor asked me was what type of project I wanted to do, and our choices were pretty unlimited. First thing that came into my mind was a book. I’ve always wanted to write a book – something that’s loosely based on my own adventures and misadventures, thus Ash the Brush’s Journey came to be!

A year after, with my symptoms now under control, and now still continuously recovering, I am happy to share with all of you my first book, written and illustrated by yours truly! Ash the Brush’s Journey is about a paintbrush on a journey to find her purpose.

The whole book was created primarily in vibrant watercolours and ink so anyone interested in explosive colours is in for a feast! It is appropriate for kids ages 6 to 8 and to absolutely everyone who’s young at heart.

It’s now available in both Softcover and PDF format on my shop. Grab your copy today!

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Milo the Chocolate Labrador x GSP

Meet Our New Boy!

Meet our new boy, Milo!

One bright morning, on the 8th May 2021, we met a boy who would change our lives: Milo. He was then an 8-week old puppy bound to steal both my husband’s and my heart. Milo is a Labrador GSP Cross whose parents came from Tangimoana.

This was him when we picked him up from his breeder.

It was hard work during his first 2 weeks at home. I almost lived in the kitchen floor at that time but as he is a smart and eager to please puppy, it didn’t take much to toilet train him and teach him basic commands.

Sitting properly while waiting for his treat.

He is a complete goofball who loves shoes, socks, and any type of footwear he can find.

Milo hanging out at our shoe rack in front of the house.

He is sweet and very curious of his humans. He loves cuddles and eating treats on my lap.

He loves the outdoors and is very friendly with both dogs and humans.

One of our early morning walks at Whitereia Park, Porirua

We get to see beautiful nature scenes because of him…

Rainbow visible from Titahi Bay Beach, Porirua

And no matter how bonkers he may be..

Milo wrestling with Daddy before we sleep.

We love our dear, dear boy.

Follow more of his adventures on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/milothechoclabxgsp/!

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Musings

Tonight

Tonight is the night I hope will end all nights

The skies have been dark, cruel, and cold

Amidst the warm season, my heart froze

I wish tonight ends all nights

I ran towards the sun

I ran towards the light

Yet it eludes me

The chills embrace me

And promised not to let me go

Must I accept its promises tonight?

Must I, with open arms, welcome its embrace?

Shall I give up sunshine?

Shall I? Tonight?