Categories
Family

Preparing for Baby: Meal Preps

I’ve always liked preparing for things – events, holidays, school, projects, etc. It’s no surprise I carry the same enthusiasm in preparing for baby’s arrival. I’ve been reading books, forums, Mum groups, so that I’d know what to expect and what can make our lives way more manageable. One of the things I read was that it could tremendously help to have frozen meals ready for the first few weeks once the baby arrives.

And that’s exactly what we did! Last weekend, we were able to produce double serve of 43 frozen meals!

Here’s how we did it:

  1. Have a list of the meals to be cooked and prioritise the order of cooking

I had to have varied choices of meals because I get tired of eating the same things over and over. We chose Filipino foods, a mix of vegetable and meat dishes. While completing the list, I have also factored in the time every dish cooks and which equipment I can use so that I can prioritise which to prepare first.

2. Do grocery shopping – preferably in places where you can bulk buy, especially the meats

We are fortunately located in the city centre so we are spoilt for choice with vegetable and meat shops so we were able to get the best prices for the ingredients we needed.

3. Clear a working space for chopping ingredients

We cleared 2 tables and the kitchen counter so that everything is organised. All cooking utenstils and equipment were washed as soon as they were used.

4. Have all cooking equipment ready.

Here is a list of the useful equipment we used. I don’t think it’s completely necessary to have these but it definitely did help for us to get things done.

Crock-Pot (for slow cook and pressure cook)

Vacuum food sealer

Upright freezer

Freestanding oven

5. Lay down and sort ingredients for each dish that needs to be prepared

6. Howell did the chopping of ingredients and packing of the cooked meals while I cooked up a storm and did the dishes

Having specific assignments for tasks makes everything easier. We also did assignments based on our strengths. Howell is great at organising things and dealing with spaces so he did the packing and clearing space in the freezer for storage while I cook well so I took it on.

We cooked 11 dishes for about 6 hours. Howell did the packing of meals for about 3 hours. Next time, though, I wouldn’t recommend doing this all in one go. It was too exhausting for both of us but I’m glad it’s all done now. We’re hoping these meals would tide us through for about over a month after baby arrives.

Ta-da! Our frozen meals all packed and ready!
Categories
Family

My pregnancy journey thus far

Happy to say I’m at 23 weeks now and the reality of the having the baby is finally sinking in! As I previously shared, I function as normal and didn’t have the usual aches and pains a pregnant woman can expect, which I’m so happy about. In spite of this dealing with pregnancy is not a walk in the park still.

Here are the things I have been experiencing so far:

Diabetes and my medications

I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2019. It has been controlled so far with proper diet, exercise, and metformin. However, I learned that as a pregnant woman, it can be expected that my blood glucose levels can get out of whack so apart from metformin, I had to take both fast and long acting insulin.

I record my blood glucose levels before a meal and 2 hours after a meal, which meant pricking my fingers for a minimum of 6 times a day, not counting the times I go hypoglycemic. With my insulin, I take 1 fast acting one before every meal and twice a day of the long acting one, for a total of 5 injections a day.

It has been a challenge for me since I had to plan all my meals, time them, and adjust my day’s schedule to get my sugars in control all the time. I empathise with mums who work full time! I work from home and yet this challenges me still!

A diabetes nurse monitors my sugars once a week and adjusts my meds depending on my readings. Happy to note that my numbers have been really good the past few weeks.

Food

Apart from all the food you need to avoid while pregnant, I had to adjust my meals to suit the baby’s nutritional needs and my carbs and sugar requirements. This one has been a biggie since day 1 I learned about the pregnancy because I am not used to eating vegetables and I also get hungry all the time! One thing that helped is having a plan.

All my meals and even snacks are planned. I have a limited choice of snacks I can choose from so I didn’t have to think about food all the time and so they’d always be ready when I need one. It’s a great thing that my husband has been cooperating with this diet in a sense that he eats what I eat. It would have been way more difficult if he’s a picky eater who’d want to eat what he wants when he wants it!

Exercise

To manage my blood glucose levels, I also incorporate exercise into my day. Even prior to getting pregnant, I have been walking twice a day with my dog and swim about 3 to 4 times a week. I have kept this routine to this day but I give myself permission not to exercise on days I feel tired. I also do resistance exercises recommended by my trainor who’s a mum herself.

It has kept my moods in control and I found that my energy levels are consistent throughout the day because of this! Bonus is that it keeps me from experiencing aches and pains I’d normally have if I didn’t exercise!

Sleep

One new thing I have been dealing with at the moment is difficulty sleeping. I usually sleep face front and I just learnt that you are suppose to sleep on your left side when you are pregnant because it’s best for the baby and man it has been a challenge for me! To help with my sleep issues, I’d usually keep a book beside me that I can read when I couldn’t sleep and if it doesn’t work, I just sleep sitting down!

Preparations for the baby

We are blessed to have friends and family who already have kids. My sister-in-law has 2 boys and we have seasoned mums at church who have all been so generous giving away their baby stuff to the point that we only had to purchase a pram and a bottle sanitiser for baby. Everything has been provided for by these wonderful mums!

I am already halfway there and each day, I grow more confident that this is doable. It is challenging but I have an entire village who would be there rallying with me and supporting me any way they can.

Categories
Family

My Journey to Pregnancy

My story goes way back 2012 when I was first diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I had irregular periods then but that was the only symptom I had until it progressed to weight gain, insulin resistance, and eventually, as the doctors called it, an unexplained infertility.

It really didn’t bother me until we started trying to conceive, which started in 2018. We were already in New Zealand then so I can say I had sufficient healthcare. We were referred to a fertility clinic and we tried 3 rounds of Letrozole but never in any of those rounds did I ovulate. It was about the same time that I got into a major vehicular accident which impaired me in numerous ways. My regular physical activity rapidly declined as I dealt with my injuries and my undiagnosed PTSD from the accident, which then led me to emotional eating. It all spiraled to a point that I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2019.

We had to hold off all efforts in conceiving since I had to bring my blood sugar down to a safe level first so it was from that point on that we started rethinking our lifestyle and revamping ways we are doing things. The urgent things I had to take care of then was pulling myself out from a toxic environment we were in. We were part of a group who completely ignores mental health issues and wouldn’t even want to talk about it as according to them, it should only be discussed with professionals. I didn’t even know what they meant – for me, it meant they didn’t really care what I was going through but I still had to do my “responsibilities” that I committed to in joining the group. I had to continuously be emptied without any promise of being filled.

It was in 2020 that we decided that enough is enough. We left the group and by God’s grace, found a church who would love Howell and I and care for us no matter the situation. It was tough trying to rebuild new relationships as the previous ones were completely severed because of misinformation that were given to the other members of the group. Still, it has helped my mental health tremendously. Toxic people and environments aren’t worth the work to keep.

And because I was then gaining momentum to heal, I also started getting physically active again. If I could remember it right, there were still strict restrictions in place due to Covid so I wasn’t able to get back to the gym but I found good alternatives like walking everyday for at least 45 minutes and doing online dance workouts. Once the restrictions eased, I went back to swimming for about twice a week and continued my everyday walks.

It was also the same year that I started going to art school, where I found my tribe – people who had the very same passions I had: art. No matter the expression, we had the same understanding of how art is special to us – for the first time since we moved, I felt fully embraced and understood.

In 2021, with careful planning and discussion with my ever supportive husband, I took a break from work to fully recuperate. I had a discussion with my employer because I really did not know what I wanted to do, all I knew was that I wanted a break to fully heal. My dear employer was kind and generous enough to give me some hours I can work from home while I rethink how I wanted my career to go in the near future. This also meant I was spending heaps of time alone at home so as thoughtful as my husband is, he decided to give me a dog to keep me company, and boy did it change my life. If you are keen to see more of our daily adventures with Milo, check out our Instagram page.

Milo is full of beans but is sweet and is a warm company who keeps us happy with his antics.

With my husband’s unconditional love and support, exercise, eating healthy, continuing with my studies, spiritual and emotional support from church, and my sweet Milo by my side all the time, I continued to heal. I started feeling physical improvement around June, which was also reflected in my lab tests that time. I wasn’t thinking of having a baby anymore because the priority was to just heal. I am so blessed to have been given this kind of support by everyone around me. Now here we are, I am currently 20 weeks 5 days pregnant. God has given us a child in His own time, and it is beautiful.

Filling yourself with good and beautiful things physically, mentally, emotionallly, and spiritually will do you wonders, even for someone as complicated and messed up as I am. Reminds me of this beautiful verse in Philippians:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. -Philippians 4:8-9

Categories
Family

Our First Date

Today was our first date… with our baby!

Two weeks ago, I decided to take a pregnancy test because I have not had my period for about 3 months – something that’s just about normal for me as I have PCOS. I used an expired pregnancy test kit because I wasn’t really expecting much from the results. When I saw two lines, I did not hesitate to tell Howell because I completely thought it was a fluke.

It was an unusual result, though, so we bought several more kits to check if the previous result was real. Surprise, surprise, it was!

Fast forward to 2 weeks, with the help of the scan this morning, we had our first date with Baby!

We’ve hoped for this baby for quite a while and I admit, I have stopped praying for one since I’ve learned about my several health issues. However, Howell and I knew that friends and family continued to pray for us. Thank you for praying on our behalf.

We still have a long way before we meet Baby in person but even now, we are joyful that he/ she is loved. Please continue to pray for our health – we’re pretty sure Baby is already excited to meet you too!

Categories
Studies at the Learning Connexion

Paintings that Move by Gary Freemantle

As I’ve mentioned before, I am currently studying New Zealand Diploma in Creativity Level 5. I mainly do distance learning but I enrol in 1 onsite class per term. It allows me to be in company of other artists which can really be inspiring. For the past term, I attended Gary Freemantle’s class – Paintings that Move.

In every class, we had an exercise which we can choose to pursue throughout the day. Below are some of my outputs from the class.

I liked the idea of an underwater garden. Very proud that I did not use any reference for this piece.
This and the next 3 photos below are an exercise to portray depth and shape using brushstrokes. I had fun adding on smoke to this piece but not too happy with the shape.
Among the 4 bowl exercises, this was the one I liked most. I liked the shape and the colour palette I used for this piece.
I tried the exercise using watercolour. It was amazing that with just a few strokes, I was able to complete this.
This last one was just a black and white experiment then I decided to add colour through the flowers.
This was an interesting piece. It started with clouds, then with further strokes, I saw that it could also be waves. The addition of the boat was really fun. I liked how this painting portrayed so much movement.
This was an experiment on shapes. I decided to paint a Bahay Kubo, a type of indigenous house in the Philippines. In my future paintings, I am hoping to pursue this track and maybe fuse some unique designs from the Philippines and New Zealand.

I went out of the box with these paintings. I’d say all of them are totally not my style. I enjoy creating them but not sure if I’d ever pursue concepts I learned from these works.

The most important thing I learned from this class was being spontaneous and allowing my consciousness to paint whatever it is that it wants. I didn’t really have much control and planning creating these pieces. In doing so, I get to mix things around and just go out of the box.

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Milo the Chocolate Labrador x GSP

Meet Our New Boy!

Meet our new boy, Milo!

One bright morning, on the 8th May 2021, we met a boy who would change our lives: Milo. He was then an 8-week old puppy bound to steal both my husband’s and my heart. Milo is a Labrador GSP Cross whose parents came from Tangimoana.

This was him when we picked him up from his breeder.

It was hard work during his first 2 weeks at home. I almost lived in the kitchen floor at that time but as he is a smart and eager to please puppy, it didn’t take much to toilet train him and teach him basic commands.

Sitting properly while waiting for his treat.

He is a complete goofball who loves shoes, socks, and any type of footwear he can find.

Milo hanging out at our shoe rack in front of the house.

He is sweet and very curious of his humans. He loves cuddles and eating treats on my lap.

He loves the outdoors and is very friendly with both dogs and humans.

One of our early morning walks at Whitereia Park, Porirua

We get to see beautiful nature scenes because of him…

Rainbow visible from Titahi Bay Beach, Porirua

And no matter how bonkers he may be..

Milo wrestling with Daddy before we sleep.

We love our dear, dear boy.

Follow more of his adventures on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/milothechoclabxgsp/!

Categories
Musings Settling in NZ Uncategorized

Welcome 2019!

“…yet in the midst of the chaos, God said, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ Indeed, He is.

Even if I don’t feel it, even if I don’t see it.

I have cried over this several times, asking God to take this cup away from me. I went here with a leap of faith, never fully understanding that it can take a longer time before I fully land my feet on flat ground.

Be still. God will move. God has moved. He paved the way ahead of me, even if I haven’t seen it yet.

I am terribly bad at waiting but this time, I have to be perfectly still and wait for my Saviour who has the best intents for me. I will not whine nor grumble.

I will be still, just as He commanded me.”

This was one of my reflections 2 years ago. We were 2 months in New Zealand and it was a time of complete uncertainty for Howell and I. We just arrived, jobless, and were not even sure of my visa so I can stay in the country.

A month after, Howell got his job, and we moved into our home where we still reside today.

Time flies. It is now 2019.

That was a tough year for us and 2018 was a bittersweet one. Howell was promoted twice, moved into another wonderful company. We found new friends and lost old ones.

I got into a major vehicular accident, had bouts of depression because of the accident, dealt with major health issues because I was in pain for 3 straight months after the accident. After which, it led me to go back to my first love – writing and arts. It was also the year I launched my online shop.

I began to accept that our decision to go here would mean I will be apart from the people I loved the most. We’ve traveled parts of New Zealand and visited the Philippines. We’ve made huge milestones in 2018 and we lost huge parts of our hearts too – some, we know, left a permanent void in our lives.

In all things that happened, God has been faithful. Every pain has its own joys and triumphs.  Every setback has presented us with greater opportunities. Every void was a chance to fill our lives with wonderful surprises.

I know 2019 will present more to me and Howell. May it be good or bad, I know that the Lord will continue to be faithful.

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

Categories
The Long Drive Chronicles Uncategorized

I Am Okay

After a 2-month hiatus from blogging, I am here to tell everyone that I am okay. I was planning to write something about my recent awesome holiday but things happen and writing is the only way I know for me to sort out what happened.

I was on my way to work this morning when I got hit by another car. The next thing I knew, I was holding the wheels sideways, looking for an exit for me to get out of the car. How many times did it flip? I wouldn’t know. I saw the car from the corner but I honestly do not know why the driver decided to go straight ahead.

The first thing I thought was how I was going to go to work and if what happened was real. I was just cruising on the road. I did nothing unusual as I was below the speed limit of that road. The car that hit me came from a corner and I was pretty confident to go straight because it was supposed to stop because that road has a give way sign.

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I think 3 to 4 onlookers came to my rescue as soon as they saw me. They checked up on me if I had any injuries, which at that time, I didn’t know I had so I said I was okay. One of them called in the accident immediately and so 3 police cars arrived a few minutes after the accident. The police got my details and my statement. They sorted everything out as I stayed in one of the police cars.

I called one of my workmates to let her know what happened so she can relay the information as well. And as she just lives around the area where I met the accident, she dropped by to check in on me. My father-in-law came to pick me up and I am here, now, 3 hours after, retelling my story in my blog.

Papa told me that we can learn from these incidents. Praise God that I survived, unscathed. Well, except for a scratch on my left leg and perhaps a bruise on my right leg. I will go and have myself checked once Howell arrives home.

In all these, I just want to get the message across. In terms of practicalities, here are some of the things that people have to consider, especially if they are driving.

  • Nissan Liberty is a safe car. No kidding. I would have died given the damage to the car.
  • Put on your seatbelt. That saved me.
  • Get insurance. It takes your mind off of the financial side of things. I was driving carefully but someone hit me. I couldn’t have predicted that. You may be taking care of yourself but someone might recklessly just crash into you like what happened to me.
  • Contigo water bottles are pretty sturdy hahaha. All the containers where my lunch was packed were broken but my Contigo water bottles? Yeah, nah. Still good.
  • Sort your personal items well so that in emergency cases, they may find the contact details of the people who need to know of your status. Good thing for me, my phone is intact in spite of the crash so I was able to coordinate with people well. Had it broke, I did not even have Howell’s number memorized.

Now that all those practical items are mentioned, I know I have to share the biggest factor why I still am alive at this very moment.

The police officer who came to my assistance asked me if I go to church and I said I did. She surprisingly told me that my faith saved me. And I wholeheartedly believe so. I was moved to worship and to pray even as I was driving at the motorway this morning, a few kilometres from where the accident happened. And I did. I worshipped the Lord for He is glorious, He is all-powerful, He is a God who can bring things into action, wherever you are, whatever circumstances you might be in.

With the damage to my car and with how events happened, I may already be at my Daddy’s side right now. But it wasn’t God’s will yet. I lived to testify to something greater than myself. I am given, literally, a second chance at life. I am moved to tears as I type these words because things would have turned the other way. The Lord saved me and He saved me for a reason. What for? I am bound to find out. Right now, I will just praise and thank Him for the life He has gifted me with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Musings Uncategorized

The Myth that is Preparedness

A few days ago, I saw a video on Facebook which talks about time and how not to waste it, basically. I find these videos a cliche sometimes but then this one made sense. It kind of made me look at some areas of my life that I have not been dealing with. Below is a copy of the video if you want to see it for yourself.

I took several steps to fix my schedule and put a structure to it, somehow, but that is altogether a separate topic.

What I’m driving at is that after I took a good look at my schedule and how I am using my time, I saw that I have been spending it on the things that I love doing, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I haven’t focused on doing the things I need to do to achieve what I want. For most people, doing things that they love and doing things to achieve something they want is almost the same thing, but for me, it isn’t.

To contextualize this confusing concept, when I refer to the things that I love, these are my hobbies–swimming, painting, reading, etc. The things that I want to achieve or want to have are: several businesses, good health (yes, it’s something I am working to achieve now!), eetc.

I saw that I have been postponing the concrete things I should do for me to achieve my goals (one specific goal that I am referring to is a business venture that I have been planning for 2 straight years now) because I want things to be perfect. I want to be fully ready before I do anything for fear that I may fail if I were not perfect or ready enough. Two straight years was not long enough for me to be ready, according to my irrational fears.

It was until Howell offered to do ALL the chores at home for this month just for me to have “time” to focus on this business, which was pretty ironic because he works Mondays till Fridays while I work Wednesdays till Fridays. I guess he knows me too much to know that if he gives me all the time in the world, I might eventually get tired of focusing solely on my hobbies. That’s kind of what happened.

So this week, I finally decided to take that step. A few months back, I already secured my supplier for the items I wanted to sell in my shop. I’ve also been paying for a website of my own for 4 months but because of my fear that I wasn’t ready enough, I totally abandoned doing anything to actually push through with my lofty business idea. Due to my indecision, the supplier I secured ditched me already so I had to frantically search for another supplier who should be reliable enough not to leave me. Thank God, I did found one a day after I found out about the other supplier.

When you look closely at your fears, you’ll often see that fears are just a manifestation of something deeper. For me, I do leave things hanging for fear of not finding a next purposeful goal after I have achieved it. Sometimes, I am too fearful that achieving this specific goal may tie me to a spot where I cannot leave. At times, I fear that I am missing out on something better that may still be out there and so I hold off moving as long as I can. Until I’m ready. Until every area of my circumstances are perfect.

Now, I am totally devoted to this cause, in spite of the fear. Why? Because if I wouldn’t take the first step, nothing will actually happen. What changed? The idea that no matter how wonderful and perfect my ideas are, if I do not do anything to achieve it, it will remain as, well, ideas, however perfect they may be. Ideas are good but without action, they serve no purpose.

At the end of my life, how would I account for how I lived? Like every gift given to me, I’d like to use it to the fullest and make something beautiful, something bigger than myself, out of the little or much that I have been given. There is no better time to move but today, now, at this very moment. Being prepared is good, but being fully prepared is a myth. If it makes sense and if it is something that the Lord wants me to pursue, then I’ll take a leap of faith, hoping against hope that what little I have may bear fruit and bless others.

Featured photo from http://passionforfreshideas.com/personalgrowth/leap-of-faith-jessica-mcgregor-johnson/

 

Categories
Settling in NZ Uncategorized

NZ Visa Experience

One of the issues immigrants face is applying for visas to work and stay in another country. In the years past, it was not too difficult for migrants to get a visa to stay permanently here in New Zealand. Unfortunately, we came at a time when a lot of the processes and requirements have changed. As for me, here is my experience of the whole process. Bear in mind that this is not a comprehensive one since everything is already a blurry for me.

What visa do I apply for?

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The visas I applied for in a nutshell.

I came to New Zealand through a Visitor’s Visa that will last for 59 days. We opted for this one because it was free. We knew that once I get here, I will apply for another visa, thus we chose not to have any additional spend for this. Note that Howell is already a Permanent Resident visa holder since 2011 so we did not have to worry about his visa here.

When we were already here, we did not know what options we had for my visa so we consulted Immigration NZ. They have confirmed that with our specific case, given that we were already living together for more than 12 months during the time of application, we can opt to apply straight to residency (which can take up to 9 months at the time we called) or if we wish to have a visa that would allow me to work soon, then we can choose the work visa (with processing time of 25 days max) instead. Given that there were more opportunities for me at that time, we decided to apply for the work visa since its processing time is shorter.

After I got a job, we pushed for the application of my residency visa. We needed to save up for another application (because fee$$$ haha) so we postponed it until I had my own job.

Timelines

My visitor’s visa was approved in 10 days if I can remember it right. Processing time was shorter perhaps because it was my second visit already.

My work visa was approved 4 months after I submitted my application, in contrary to the 25 days stated in their website then. This was the toughest visa I had to apply for because I had issues with my urine test. I had to retake because they found traces of sugar in my urine sample (which was not normal). It went downhill from there. For some reason, it was difficult for them then to confirm what stage my application was but it was approved nevertheless.

My resident visa was approved 5 months after my application. Should we have known that the timelines for the work and resident visa would be the same, we would have opted to apply straight to resident visa since we spent a significant amount for both applications.

Requirements

All requirements can be found on Immigration NZ’s website. Their list of requirements are pretty comprehensive and straightforward so there is no guesswork, especially for the visitor’s visa.

The requirements for my work and resident visa are almost the same, except we added a few items like the tenancy agreement and home bills to the resident visa application since we were already renting on our own then. Since my application is partnership-based, we had to provide documents that will prove that we are in a genuine and stable relationship for more than 12 months. A marriage certificate here is a recognized proof of a relationship but is not enough to prove a genuine and stable one so we had to add on several items to the application. Below is a list of all the requirements  I can remember:

  • Marriage certificate
  • Tenancy agreement
  • Statement of joint bank account
  • Statement of joint investments
  • Copious amount of photos, especially the ones we’ve posted on social media
  • Letters from family members posted to our home
  • Utility billings
  • Timeline of the relationship (a friend told me a bullet-type of timeline is acceptable but since I am extra, I did a 3-page narration of our love story;) )
  • Tickets and bookings from all our travels throughout the years
  • Some people submit references (statements from people in NZ who know them and can testify about the status of their relationship) but we chose not to because we are both not comfortable asking people for this

Extra items to take note of

  • Personally, keeping in touch with Immigration is helpful throughout the process of applying. I usually call them at least twice a month just to check on the status of my application. When my case officer emailed me, I emailed her twice. There is a thin line between asking and being pushy in terms of asking for updates so you’d have to strike a balance on this.
  • Be as organized as possible because you may need your documents in another application. We have all our documents filed in one binder so it is easy to produce them when it is needed.

What now?

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My Resident Visa

For those who wanted to know what my current visa is, it will allow me to stay in New Zealand indefinitely. However, should I choose to travel outside of New Zealand after 19th March 2020, I will need to apply for another resident visa to re-enter the country.

I can also apply for a permanent resident visa after 2 years. So if we will be travelling outside New Zealand after 19th March 2020, we might need to apply for permanent resident visa. In 5 years, I will be eligible to apply for citizenship.

As an NZ Resident, I am also eligible to receive all the benefits a citizen or permanent resident has, e.g. health care, KiwiSaver, maternity leave, etc.

Other options

For those wanting to apply for a visa here, visit https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new-zealand-visas for more details. The information in their website is really helpful. You can also choose to ring them for specific questions. Here is a quick information on how to contact them.

Hope this was helpful!