Tag: first time mum

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Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 4

23 February 2022

Dear Raphael,

Ever since I learned of your existence, I’ve been learning so much more about myself, life, your Dad, and where God is in all these. Never have I ever been so unsure of what life will bring until you turned up.

These days, I am learning to live life day by day and to make each of those days count, because they do. Everyday counts, especially if you’re a baby developing in your mother’s womb. What I do, what I eat, what I feel affects you in so many ways and I only want to give what’s best for you at the same time balancing what’s good for me.

Never have I grasped my lack of control until now. No one knows when or how you will arrive and even that drives me nuts, my child. You will be born in a pandemic that truly shocked and changed the whole world and I do not know how to feel about that. We are blessed to be in a country that has plenty of resources and so much support from the government and our greater community – in your parents’ case, mainly the church.

I do not know when or if you will get to meet your grandma and auntie in the Philippines but that is a whole different topic altogether.

In all these, I am learning that I can only turn to the One who has numbered all our days, to the One who has loved you even before you were conceived. He willed you into being and His huge hands and generous love will see us through. Whatever uncertainty the future holds is certain for Him who hold all things together. I hope that even now, you will feel and know and claim that He is there, always has been.

I am very excited to meet you in spite of all my fears. Hang in there, son. Few months more and I will get to have the privilege of holding you in my arms. Even now, you are loved and cherished.

With joyful anticipation,

Your Mum

This is another series I launched in this space. I have written numerous letters to my child in the hopes of giving this to him as a gift someday. These letters also serve as a way for me to pour out my thoughts and emotions during the different stages of my pregnancy and motherhood.

Some letters I might post as an excerpt, some I’d publish unabridged. I hope to give this someday to Raphael and I want to keep some of my private thoughts and wishes, private.

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Categories
Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 3

14 December 2022

It has taken quite a while for me to write to you again. It has been a whirlwind since the day we found out about you.

A team of medical specialists have been taking care of both you and me. Moving to NZ was one of the best decisions we’ve made. We don’t know how it will be if we were in the Philippines because really, your Mummy’s body isn’t the healthiest.

I’ve been anxious the past weeks because the first sonographer who saw you thought you had a cleft lip. I mean I’ll still accept you even now for who you will be or what you will look like but I’m worried it’ll be an unnecessary burden for you as you grow. Anyway, the last scan said you are all clear. You might just have been blowing bubbles in Mummy’s tummy then.

Whatever you become, I hope you find and know and love Jesus the way your Dad and I have. I hope you model your life from Him because it will be the single most important decision you will do in life – everything else will flow from that relationship.

I hope you become the best version of you. I hope to raise you as a discerning, kind, and loving man who will choose to do what is right and noble no matter how difficult. I pray even now that God gives me the grace to forgive you at times that you will hurt me. And just the same, I hope you learn to forgive your Dad and I in times that we hurt you. Forgiveness has been the toughest lesson I had to learn and it has taken so much from my life without me knowing it.

Hang in there, my precious one. I will try my best to be healthy so that you will be, too. I am jumping with joy because you are alive.

With joyful anticipation,

Your Mum

This is another series I launched in this space. I have written numerous letters to my child in the hopes of giving this to him as a gift someday. These letters also serve as a way for me to pour out my thoughts and emotions during the different stages of my pregnancy and motherhood.

Some letters I might post as an excerpt, some I’d publish unabridged. I hope to give this someday to Raphael and I want to keep some of my private thoughts and wishes, private.

Categories
Family Letters to Raphael

Letters to Raphael – 2

12 November 2021

Dear Baby,

I feel better today. Still getting used to the idea that I am not alone anymore – I have you to think about.

To be honest, I still think the tests are inaccurate, but all my other bodily symptoms and changes tell me otherwise. You are real and I hope to take care of you.

Help me to eat food that you need, because Mum doesn’t have the healthiest taste in food. I just want you to be healthy.

I am challenged by the idea of raising you. I want to give you all the wonderful things life can bring. I want you to grow in love, knowing the warmth of a real home.

I pray, even now, that you get to know God, and love Him deeply, personally. Know that God is real, no matter what circumstances dictate.

I am sorry for bringing you in such a broken world – I hope you’d be a form of light this current darkness needs.

I love you even now. Hang in there.

This is another series I launched in this space. I have written numerous letters to my child in the hopes of giving this to him as a gift someday. These letters also serve as a way for me to pour out my thoughts and emotions during the different stages of my pregnancy and motherhood.

Some letters I might post as an excerpt, some I’d publish unabridged. I hope to give this someday to Raphael and I want to keep some of my private thoughts and wishes, private.

Categories
Family

Going Eco and Budget-Friendly with Cloth Nappies

I like doing my bit for mother Earth. I try and make meals from scratch to avoid unnecessary packaging. I shop fruit and veges at our local co-op. I compost. These are very small things we try and do everyday to contribute to the future of the planet. If it does have some impact, I wouldn’t really know. One can only hope that these small efforts make a huge difference.

Today marks my 2nd week using cloth nappies – and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made as a mum both for my wallet and for the environment.

I’ve heard advantages and disadvantages from people who used cloth nappies and from those who tried but did not push through with it.

Where to start

Given that we live at the end of the earth, there are very limited options for a lot of things here, including cloth nappies. I received a couple samples from my sister-in-law: one’s an all-in-one nappy and a 2-in-one nappy. The all-in-one nappies are fastened through velcro while the 2-in-one ones use snaps. I purchased these two types just so I have variation. I am no expert yet in using cloth nappies but these ones have worked well for us.

We currently have 25 nappies and wash them every 2/3 days, depending on bubba’s usage.

Dealing with poop

One of the biggest concerns I had when I was considering cloth nappies was dealing with poop. I’ve found that there are disposable liners that you can use just so I won’t need to directly deal with it before washing. Once I found this workable solution, I was sold!

When we started with cloth nappies

We planned to start using cloth nappies when our bubba is 3 months old just so we adjust with newborn stuff gradually. It was great because we have a good routine already.

What our routines are

We use cloth nappies the whole day but since bubba is sleeping longer stretches now, about 5-7 hours a night, we still use disposable nappies at night to keep him comfortable and leak-free the whole night through. We also use disposable nappies on days out just so things are efficient and it’s one less issue we need to deal with.

Washing and drying

We do a pre-wash and main-wash in the laundry and use dryer to dry. Having a dryer at home saves us a trip to the laundry, especially on wet days and on winter. We make sure we’re doing a full load so we don’t waste energy and water cleaning these nappies.

We struggled at first figuring out how to wash these properly but there are a huge number of resources online that helped us find the best way for us to keep these nappies clean.

In conclusion…

These are our experiences so far using cloth nappies. In terms of use, there’s not much difference with disposable ones except that they are reusable. I don’t think we will fully shift to cloth nappies for convenience of days out and for baby’s comfort at night, but it has been saving heaps of disposable ones ending up in landfills. If you are looking at giving it a try, go ahead! Really one of the best decisions you can make as parents!

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Family Musings Uncategorized

Our Birth Story – Baby Raphael

Our son, Raphael, was born on 5th May 2022, 2:23PM, at Wellington Regional Hospital via elective C-section.

I was honestly hoping for a normal delivery for my fear of recovery after a C-section. I have heard stories of how easy the procedure was but how demanding and tedious it can be during recovery. At 32 weeks, it was explained to me that because of a high risk pregnancy, I cannot go beyond 38 weeks. Therefore, my options would be an induction or a C-section at either 37 or 38 weeks.

However, at 34 weeks, I was presented with a surprise from my dear Raphael that he flipped and that he was in a footling breech presentation. As I understood it, a vaginal delivery is still possible, but was not advisable in these cases and so I was offered either an ECV (External Cephalic Version – turning a breech baby) or an elective C-Section. I initially booked an ECV at 36 weeks but opted off it after careful discernment and discussions with fellow mums, friends, and family. There may be a reason why my bubba turned at 34 weeks and I will never know what that was but we chose not to meddle with whatever was going on in my tummy.

This, then, meant that an elective C-Section was my only option.

I was booked for a C-Section at 37 weeks and 4 days. I was given detailed instructions on how we would go about it. I did a blood test the day prior and put in a request for blood bags should I need it for the operation. I also took Omeprazole the night prior and the morning of the surgery. I was required to fast the night before the surgery and no liquids an hour before I come in the hospital.

On the day of the surgery, we arrived at around 7:20AM and was told that I was the only C-section booked for the day. However, as with any plan, some other things come up. I was bumped off twice because an emergency C-section was performed on another mum and a C-section booked the day prior was moved to the day of my surgery. I was then bumped to be the last one to have had the surgery. The only issue I had was being too thirsty, hungry, and anxious if the procedure was to push through that day or not.

Once they started preparing me, it only took a few minutes before I found myself in the theatre. I was immediately briefed on how my epidural would be done. The only time I felt pain was when the anesthesia was being injected on me – I felt sharp, stabbing pains on my spine area which lasted for a couple seconds. After which, everything from waist down went numb and the doctors were off to delivering my son. In about 10 minutes, Raphael was out. They stitched me back for about 30 minutes and then I was wheeled into the Recovery Room.

In the recovery room, they waited for my anesthesia to wear off. While waiting, they gave me an ice block, water, and a sandwich. I was so drowsy but wasn’t in any sort of pain. Once they saw my toes and my knees twitch, I was then brought to the postnatal ward. They constantly checked baby’s and my heart rate, oxygen levels, and glucose levels. It took two days for Raphael’s sugars to stabilise. On Day 2, I was supposed to be transferred to Kenepuru Hospital, one that’s nearer us, for my recovery. However, I was given the option to stay in Wellington Hospital or be discharged home instead – whichever I prefer. There wasn’t much trouble for us in choosing our options because healthcare in New Zealand is free – we just choose whatever works best for us. This was one of the things we greatly appreciated here. It would have cost us a fortune to carry and give birth to our dear one if we were in the Philippines.

Our movements were very limited in the hospital and so we chose to be discharged home instead. We invited my in-laws to our home that night so they will have an opportunity to meet baby as they were not allowed to visit the hospital due to Covid restrictions. It was great for them to have met baby and help us set up stuff that night. In the succeeding days, though, we decided it was best not to accept any visitors until I was fully recovered, which was graciously accepted by the people wanting to visit us. It was mentally and physically taxing for me to be receiving visitors as we were also trying to establish our breastfeeding routine and was waiting for my milk to come in.

I am writing this on Day 9 post partum. Milk came in at Day 4, midwife already visited us twice, my bleeding has subsided, and I am down to paracetamol for my pain relief. We took off my wound dressing already but everything is still sore. I still take things slow, walk and move very slowly. Howell took 2 weeks off work so he is currently in charge of everything house-related. We are all getting better everyday but it has been a very slow and gradual process. The adjustments are not just physical – it is mental, emotional, even spiritual.

At this point, we are just taking things one step at a time. I am personally looking forward to going on my daily walks with Howell and Milo, this time along with Raphael. I look forward to doing art again, moving freely without pain, meeting people again, this time with our first child in tow. Life is good, we couldn’t ask for more…