A few days ago, I saw a video on Facebook which talks about time and how not to waste it, basically. I find these videos a cliche sometimes but then this one made sense. It kind of made me look at some areas of my life that I have not been dealing with. Below is a copy of the video if you want to see it for yourself.
I took several steps to fix my schedule and put a structure to it, somehow, but that is altogether a separate topic.
What I’m driving at is that after I took a good look at my schedule and how I am using my time, I saw that I have been spending it on the things that I love doing, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I haven’t focused on doing the things I need to do to achieve what I want. For most people, doing things that they love and doing things to achieve something they want is almost the same thing, but for me, it isn’t.
To contextualize this confusing concept, when I refer to the things that I love, these are my hobbies–swimming, painting, reading, etc. The things that I want to achieve or want to have are: several businesses, good health (yes, it’s something I am working to achieve now!), eetc.
I saw that I have been postponing the concrete things I should do for me to achieve my goals (one specific goal that I am referring to is a business venture that I have been planning for 2 straight years now) because I want things to be perfect. I want to be fully ready before I do anything for fear that I may fail if I were not perfect or ready enough. Two straight years was not long enough for me to be ready, according to my irrational fears.
It was until Howell offered to do ALL the chores at home for this month just for me to have “time” to focus on this business, which was pretty ironic because he works Mondays till Fridays while I work Wednesdays till Fridays. I guess he knows me too much to know that if he gives me all the time in the world, I might eventually get tired of focusing solely on my hobbies. That’s kind of what happened.
So this week, I finally decided to take that step. A few months back, I already secured my supplier for the items I wanted to sell in my shop. I’ve also been paying for a website of my own for 4 months but because of my fear that I wasn’t ready enough, I totally abandoned doing anything to actually push through with my lofty business idea. Due to my indecision, the supplier I secured ditched me already so I had to frantically search for another supplier who should be reliable enough not to leave me. Thank God, I did found one a day after I found out about the other supplier.
When you look closely at your fears, you’ll often see that fears are just a manifestation of something deeper. For me, I do leave things hanging for fear of not finding a next purposeful goal after I have achieved it. Sometimes, I am too fearful that achieving this specific goal may tie me to a spot where I cannot leave. At times, I fear that I am missing out on something better that may still be out there and so I hold off moving as long as I can. Until I’m ready. Until every area of my circumstances are perfect.
Now, I am totally devoted to this cause, in spite of the fear. Why? Because if I wouldn’t take the first step, nothing will actually happen. What changed? The idea that no matter how wonderful and perfect my ideas are, if I do not do anything to achieve it, it will remain as, well, ideas, however perfect they may be. Ideas are good but without action, they serve no purpose.
At the end of my life, how would I account for how I lived? Like every gift given to me, I’d like to use it to the fullest and make something beautiful, something bigger than myself, out of the little or much that I have been given. There is no better time to move but today, now, at this very moment. Being prepared is good, but being fully prepared is a myth. If it makes sense and if it is something that the Lord wants me to pursue, then I’ll take a leap of faith, hoping against hope that what little I have may bear fruit and bless others.
Featured photo from http://passionforfreshideas.com/personalgrowth/leap-of-faith-jessica-mcgregor-johnson/
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