Grief doesn’t go away; you grow around it.
I came across this statement a couple of years ago while processing my grief around the loss of my dad, and it has stuck with me since.
Last week was my dad’s 18th death anniversary, and I couldn’t help but remember the statement above. I still remember everything as if it happened just yesterday. That day, I prayed and opened my Bible as I waited for news about my dad while my mother and my sister rushed him to the hospital.
It had already been a tough time for us back then and my dad’s passing, I felt, was an unnecessary blow to my family. As I read my Bible that day, this reading from Psalms stood out to me:
Psalm 126
1 When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.
4 Restore our fortunes, Lord,
like streams in the Negev.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
In one of my darkest moments, God has promised me good things. He promised me joy. It’s only in hindsight that I see God has been good to us even in the worst of times.
I told my sister that this year marks the amount of time I had with my dad was the same amount of time I have spent without him. Truly, I have grown around grief. There have been so many trials, joys, sadness, and victories I have had since he passed, and I am sure we’ll have heaps of time to talk about those in eternity. The in-between seems the hardest for me, even until now. I still long to speak to him, to be reassured by him, to even just hear his terrible dad jokes.
The good news is you grow around grief. Life does go on. In moments when grief visits me, I welcome it. These days remind me how God has been so faithful in my life. Indeed, I have reaped songs of joy as the Lord promised.
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