Praising God in Season and Out of Season

I am a black or white type of person. Navigating grays is a huge weakness of mine. This behaviour translates not only to my judgement of things but with other areas of my life, too – frustratingly, this includes my emotions.

Things that matter so much to me affects me in ways I can not even explain. Simple events or items that I can not take off my list weigh a heavy burden on my shoulders.

I hate to admit it, but I still am in love with control.

It drives me mad when things do not go as planned, most especially, when I meticulously plan for it –  which, to be fair, is a rare occasion. I tend to be spontaneous because I hate being disappointed. If something is not planned, then I can accept the chaos of it all. But if I have spent a huge chunk of my time on something and it goes haywire, expect dark days. It’s just me.

I came across that crossroad just a few days ago. Do the things that I do still matter? Are these things still of value? Why am I spending so much time on something I may not see the fruits of? It has been utterly frustrating. I pace back and forth and check where I took the wrong turn, an exercise that has always proven itself futile.

In the midst of the chaos, I am reminded of the fact that the God I love and serve does not change. The way I treat Him, the way I love Him, the way I worship Him, should not change because He never does. I am reminded that on those sunny and warm seasons, I can always turn to Him and thank Him for all the wonderful things He brings my way. In the cold and dark seasons, I can always still draw close to Him to seek for comfort.

Ultimately, it’s not about how I feel at any given time. My commitment is not to love the Lord only in the wonderful, blessing-filled days. My commitment is to love the Lord with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind because really, being faithful to Him is not just for Him alone. I believe that God calls us to abide in Him and to cling to Him in the good and the bad so He can provide for us the grace and mercies sufficient for the day.